I screamed like a little bitch. The kind of noise you hear as it is happening, and you're thinking to yourself " Hey, what's that noise" and then it dawns on you that what you are hearing is *you*. Screaming like a child. MAMA! Yes. That was me last night.
In a few seconds I not only screamed like a bitch, but I almost found Jesus.
Before I tell you what brought me to pray for forgiveness - let me just say this -
Green means GO & Red means STOP, you douche!!!!
On base last night I made the horrible mistake of DRIVING. My husband had forgotten to leave some keys at work and we were heading back to drop them off. As I proceeded through an intersection, so did someone else - unfortunately for me - this person was coming from my left ACROSS the intersection!!!
Basically I had the fucking *green* light and this person was stopped at a *RED* in the turn lane coming from my left. Well, apparently in this person infinite wisdom and complete lack of concern for human life - he choose to go THROUGH red light and come barreling down on me at about 50 (the posted speed limit on base) - REALLY? YOU STUPID TARD!!!
Me - ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! Fucccckkkkkkkk!!! *>High pitched holler monkey sound<*
Husband - Shit!
Driver of other vehicle - Uh-oh.
Me - Turn away! Turn Away! *>slamming of brakes<* (I'm in middle of said intersection)- Now screaming that if you hit my Subbie going to get ghetto on your ass!!!! NOT THE CAR!!! NOT THE CAR!!! Take me! Take me!!
Husband - Bracing for impact
Driver of other vehicle - Smoking brakes. ( I think I hear him yelping too)
End result --> I could reach out of my car window and touch the HOOD OF THE OTHER FUCKING CAR! And I did.
In the end I'm freaking out, the other driver speeds off in the direction he was originally going and I'm looking at my husband saying - " um, really? Did he just drive off!".
I know who you are you douche! If I ever see you again I'm going to get all Latina on your ass! Who runs a red light! ON base not yards from the SP bldg. And it would have to be on the ONLY night I didn't see an SP sitting , and watching that section of road. Doh.
Green means Go. Red mean Stop. Here's your helmet and stickers you idiot.
