That's so me right? Not only is it soooo very me, but it also a telling statement on my current attitude. I have spent the better part of two weeks agonizing over gifts, wrapping, mailing, cards, ordering and general Christmas consumer madness. And to be very honest - I'm done. I can't help but feel a little bitter every year, but more so this year; that no matter how much I plan or don't plan; or how much I buy or don't, that it never matches my expectations. It never seems enough, or its too much. I'm constantly left womdering why do i bother; I never hear from the majority of people I send to. And yet, I feel a strange sense of duty to include these people in my Christmas craziness.
Maybe it says more about our society, or our culture, than it does about ourselves. At least that is what I would like to believe - I hate the thought that my williness to give is based on a need to be part of the holiday consumer feeding frenzy. How shallow is that? Nothing says I love you than an over-priced gift I bought merely to feed my shopping addiction. Hi, my name is Kris and I'm a shooping whore.
No that can't be right. I buy and I wrap, and I take agonzing pains to make sure I buy the right gift for the right people. I do it because I want to. I do it because of the ingrained sense of Catholic guilt. Wait. That's not right. Did I just say that out loud???? Honestly folks, I really believe that I do what I do because it will make someone I know happy, and it is the one time a year I can let them know how I feel. So I guess by that logic - if you get a crappy dollar store special, you know how I truly feel about you. :) But I digress....
Do you ever feel that you are doing all of this - and this I mean...crazy, stressful Christmas shopping - because we are raised to believe that gifts are what make the holidays special? Think about it. Would you really, truly feel like Christmas if there was no gifts waiting for you under the tree? No cards had come your way? No stockings hanging by th tree? No packages to pick up at the post office? No christmas paper, or christmas decorations? No small tokens of holiday wishings from work or family members? Baked cookies?
It shouldn't be all about the gifts and the shopping. I get it. But no matter how hard I try I get sucked in. I go to far, or I get my expectations set too high; and in the end it boils down to one thing. The loss of what Christmas is supposed to be about.
So in the Spirit of the Christmas here's a list of what Christmas should be about - for me anyway.
* My family & Friends - without you I would be lost.
* My husband - you are all I need.
* Cookies - Yeah I said it. Cheap, fun, and who doesn't love a good sugar coma?
* The smell of a Christmas tree & wreath.
* Handmade decorations - especially snow flakes, and popcorn string!
* Old Christmas movies - Nothing says Christmas like Charlie Brown, and The Original Grinch!
* Mulled wine - Its that good people.
* Fireplaces - Just perfect for setting the mood.
* The smells of christmas - baking, spices...etc.
* Christmas carols.
* Advent calendars.
* Christmas Dinnner.
* Talking to loved ones on the phone.
* Having my husband home for the holidays.
The list goes on.....
What is on your list this year?
