Overacting to thirty? Maybe. Probably. Yeah, I am.
But I went to bed last night with a sore knee. This morning I wake up unable to move my knee. I have no idea why, or what I did to bring this on, but it is here none the less. I have always had 'bad knees'; a term my family has used for as long as I can remember, and a tribute to my father. I have also been told I weak ankles. I apparently got those from my father too.
So apparently my body is bad, and weak. Lovely. I'm not sure if the terms used by family are more of a commentary of my father's character flaws, or real physiological attributes. I think it is probably a mix of the two; although I;m sure many of my mom's side would like to admit to the former possibility. -- My parents divorced when I was very young, and the marriage was doomed from the beginning as my grandparents were not a fan of father --. But I digress.
I have inherited both 'bad' knees, and 'weak' ankles from my father. I also was fortunate enough to bear a remarkable resemblance to my Dad. He was a handsome man, but since I am his daughter, I would have prefer to take after the female parent, no disrespect of course. I have his undeniable stature, high forehead (huge slaphead, in my humble opinion, I hate it), his facial features minus the mustache; although I'm sure menopause will not be my friend in that area. Some family members even tell me I speak like him, have the small compact walk, and my handwriting is eerily similar as well. And know to bring me back to my point --- I have weakness in certain joints and that inherited pain in the ass is surfacing. Oh. lucky. me.
I feel suddenly old. My back as long since given up any supple, unhindered motion. But I suppose that is as much to do with my condition as it does with age or genetics. But now at the age of thirty I have a fucked up knee. I rely on my other joints to get me moving when my back cannot support all my weight. When I struggle to move, my 'bad' knees and my ' weak ' ankles take over and get my going. So how bad, or weak can they be?
I'm sure this too will pass. I'm sure I just moved wrong a pulled something. Something, huh. Will that something better start feeling better.....I feel old today.
On a side note - it is strange that I started with entry with a ramble of my knee and its pain-in-the-ass discomfort, but instead it tuned into a small physical synopsis of my Dad. I miss you Dad. I always will. How can I forget you, I have your weak knees and ankles. And I love them. Most of the time.
