Wednesday
Sugar Boogers
Like the title? I do. - Wait, before you slowly back away from the blog harboring an idea that I know something about Sugar Boogers - listen. I love me some comedy, and I was a huge fan of Bob&Tom radio show, ~( I'm living overseas and don't get a chance to indulge in the Bob&Tom show anymore)~ one of the featured comedians was a man called Steve Poltz - the singer/songwriter for a variety of HILARIOUS songs. One of which is a little ditty called SUGAR BOOGERS - I love it. If I can figure out how to add the You Tube video of the song I will - so look on the right hand side of the page....I'll eventually figure it out.
Ok, well, that is the reason for the blog title ~ However it got me thinking about a recent development - Candy. Shocking that the fat girl should go to the candy idea - but I have been mulling this over in recent weeks and here's my thoughts.
~ A person can go throughout the year without giving into the 'bag o'candy' that lingers at the end of many supermarket aisles. We can walk by and cast a glance in the direction of the bagged candy, but we continue on, safe in the knowledge that we just saved money, and waistlines. Well most of the time we can keep walking - there are moments of weakness, but on the whole we don't feel compelled to buy a bag of sweet, chocolaty goodness, that will no doubt end up being devoured in a matter of a days - or in some cases.....hours. You know who you are.
But I digress -
The bagged candy phenomenon around the Holidays is not only overwhelming but a sinister marketing strategy no doubt put into play by a man, or men. No matter where you look those bags of candy are everywhere! And its never the crappy 'kids-mix' either! Its a miniature cornucopia of every chocolate, sugary candy bar on the freaking market. And the really heinous part of the whole marketing plan from hell - is you *think* that its better to buy the bag because the serving sizes are smaller,, and you can stick to having ONLY one piece...maybe two....ohhhh, a third is ok.....after all each one is only a "bite sized" piece!
Uh. no.
Here's the reality of this insidious piece of marketing bullshit ---
One - It's NOT really cheaper is it. Because you can't stop at just one bag. I know this to be true. Trust me. Seriously when is the last time you walked out of the store around Halloween, Christmas, or Easter and bought on;y one bag. If you tell me you have....you're lying.
Two - Bite sized, my ass. Have you looked at the size of the "bite-sized" candy bars out there? Have you ever wondered why they are now being called personal sized? I'm not sure about you, but if you can get one of those little suckers down in a "bite" you have need to re-think your serving sizes, mega-mouth.
Three - Why OH why do stores need to stock the shelves with endless bags of every candy know to mankind, and stock these bags everywhere there is a spare retail space? You see it when you enter the store, you see it on the endcaps, you see by the registers - the other day I saw it in a kids toy section!!! Really? That's what Moms and Dads need....candy, sugar and toys. Great combo. Tell me how that works for ya.
Finally, why do I buy this shit.
Yes, for all my self-righteous ravings about marketing evils, and sugar-pushing supermarkets; I buy the stuff. I can't help it. Its like there is some internal time clock that is telling it's time to buy sugar-crack and I can't stop myself. I never buy this stuff any other time of the year. NEVER. But as the year comes to end, apparently so does any self resolve, or willpower. The colorful, cellophane covered chocolaty, gooey greatness seems to be unavoidable, unmissable, and underpriced!!! God Damnit!
Holiday Candy bags : you are my Nemesis.