A seasoned military wife? Is there really such a thing? And if there is what exactly makes you seasoned? I'm not sure I would want to be labeled as a seasoned anything - it conjurers up an image of a side of meat slathered in too many spices. What a great thing to be compared to - smelly, bloody tough piece of unappetizing meat -. I much prefer experienced or knowledgeable spouse. Don't you?
Sorry I get distracted easily.
Again, I have to ask what exactly makes you seasoned, or should I say, experienced? Is it time? I'm not sure if that really works. I have met many spouses that have more than 10 years in the military life. The majority fall into two categories - they are either bitter, or completely immersed in their husband's career that they have forgotten who they are or what they want. Of course there are always exceptions to that rule, and those exceptions are the wives I call friends. :)
Is it that they have a larger knowledge base than newer spouses? I suppose that is obvious, since spouses with more than 5 years are bound to have more information than a brand new spouse. Right? Well, not necessarily. There are many spouses that have been in for quite sometime, but have only experienced one or two PCS's and although they have a foundation of useful facts on certain bases, or stateside moves - they may not know about overseas bases, or extended TDY's, or (insert option here). It doesn't make them any less a military wife, however, it proves that time in does not equal all knowing.
Is it that they have a strong understanding of military protocol, standards, regulations...etc. Maybe. However, I pretty sure there are few active duty members that could quote all protocol, or reg. and know how it applies to each and every military member and their specific job req. Even if they did have such unlimited knowledge - it proves they have too much time on their hands, and need to get a hobby....with real people they can talk with.
So what makes you an 'experienced' spouse?
~ Admitting that you don't know everything - and taking the opportunities to learn from others who have been there, and done that....no matter how long you have been in the military life.
~ Common sense. You don't need a book on being a military wife to explain to you that most of what we go through can be dealt with using common sense. An experienced spouse will know that squadron rumors, or unsupported wife gossip is not a value tool in knowing how to deal with TDY's, deployments...etc. Common sense will be a key quality in any spouse, no matter how long you have been doing this.
~ Bitter. Who am I to talk right? But I'm bitter about stupid people, and retarded shit that only happens to me. I'm NOT bitter about being a military wife, or the associated crap that comes with it. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and I have only myself to blame if I ever saw it otherwise.
Bitter, angry spouses should never been seen as a good source of info, or help. I don't care if they have been in 20+years, been to every base you want to go to, and have been through double-digit deployments. If they see everything as the glass half full, or everything that is wrong with their lives ins the fault of the military....BACK AWAY SLOWLY & RUN in the opposite direction.
Everything they tell you will be tainted with anger, resentment, bitterness, and out of date info - a lot changes on a base in 15 years.
However, they serve an important purpose - what not to be in 15+ years.
In my humble opinion you need all of the above qualities or outlooks, and some of the following ~ Faithful, honest, straight-forward, confident, committed, open, friendly, and most of all slightly crazy!!! :)Its not easy living the way we do; but it even harder being our active duty counterparts - never forget that.
~ Its not a super power; isn't not the the 'toughest' job in the military; we aren't special because of who our spouses are; its just different.~
