Oh dear......

I should be doing something else, but I got side-tracked. I made the mistake of reading the opinions of fellow military wives, and after ten minutes I realized I was sitting at my computer - slack-jawed and wondering where these people come from?

Of course I just had to come here and release my inner "whineiness" before I write something every hateful to some of these people. Thank God for a blog.

~ Family first? What a wonderful thought; if only it were that easy. No, unfortunately when you have a spouse in the military; mission comes first. And please do not assume that because your spouse *has* to put the mission or job first, that they don't care about family, or that they do so lightly. IT'S the MILITARY; they have NO choice. Do you really think that they would prefer to work 16 hour days and never have time with their children or spouses? Of course not. But the reality of it is; they have to.

And yet that isn't what really irks me about the complaint so many military spouses use. Its that they seem to think that the military is the ONLY job that requires this of you. Really?

I have a brother-in-law that is former military; and not too long ago we had this same discussion. The civilian world is just as brutal. There are always deadlines to meet, or heavy workloads that must be maintained. If there is a project or a need to get some work related issue taken care of....the spouse has to put that before loved ones. Its a fact of life. The work load and ability to remain competitive is what keeps you in a job and food on the table. In this economy there are always 10 people waiting to take your job and probably do it faster and for less money.

And using the " well, at least your spouse doesn't have to be gone for long periods of time doing something dangerous" is not accurate, and its slightly ignorant too.

My closest friend has a husband who works away from home for 6-8 months out of EVERY year. He never knows when he is leaving, when he will be home, and how long he can stay at home for any one visit. His job is dangerous and often very lonely. He's a commercial diver.
I have another friend who is a firefighter/EMT - he has to pull 24/48 hour shifts weekly, and his job is inherently dangerous and random.
My brother-in-law works for a large corporation and although it isn't dangerous it often calls on him to leave home for business related situations with less than 12 hours notice, and without the knowledge of when he will return.

All of these cases are hard and carry with them hardship, and uncertainty - and guess what they don't get free housing, extra pay for being away from home, fam. sep pay, or hazard duty pay.

BUT - it does put food on the table, and offers stability which is the bottom line for many families, military or otherwise.

Look ladies, it sucks, I know that as it does for every other spouse in the world. But rather than point out where your spouse is at fault, take the time to thank them for what they have to go through to support YOU.