I'm not good with feelings; actually I'm not great with emotions full stop. I can barely handle my own, but yet somehow I feel the need to help others. Maybe that's how I deal with mine.
I suppose this blog is dedicated to all of us; all of those people out there that aren't sure what to do, or how to handle all of 'this'. It going out to all you people that need a shoulder, and need to just get it out. And maybe its just for me; becuase sometimes something just hits you, and you want to help someone close to you....and this is how you help.
Its not fair, is it? Those people in your life that come to you in small doses and no matter how doses you get it's never enough. Or maybe that's just something you realize afterwards. I've never really figured that out myself. Hindsight is so much clearer, right?
Still it doesn't seem fair. These moments we get with those we love. They are never enough; they are never long enough. And those people don't deserve this. We don't deserve this. Some people live forever with the slightest regret for what they mean to others, without care for their actions, or the pain they bring onto other around them. They deserve it, we don't.
But.....
Maybe that's the point. Maybe they are here with us for exactly the time we need them to be. They are here to teach us something we are yet to understand, or even fully appreciate. But it is with us always, and that's the point.
If we had them with us forever we would take for granted what they meant to us. We would lose the bond we had; time is precious and forces to be close for what is inevitability limited time. To have someone close to you for all time would mean not learning, or coming to understand what they are to us, and what they left behind.
We need to have then with us, but we also need to learn from from the time we spent with them. As corny as it sounds they come to us for a reason and I have always thought that because of this they are never really gone; they never really leave us.
They ARE our memories, our belief system, our need to be more, our need to connect with our partners, our children. They are what drives us to be more, they are the lessons of the past showing us a future. They are a legacy of hope, they are our conscious, they are the reason we love.
They are us.
Nothing is bottomless when you have friends and family to hold your hand, and memory of why you need to hold someone's hand.
