Excuse this interruption to your regularly scheduled programming......but I got a bone to pick.
I have been sitting here for several days, pondering my response to events and whether I have an appropriate comment or useful view to offer. And the result of my deliberations is simple; NO. I have absolutely nothing constructive to say on recent events; therefore, I will post them here. Seems legitimate. :)
Event One: Christmas
Why should I feel sad and pathetic for not going home
during the holidays? Why is it such a big deal for me to be alone for
Christmas? I am convinced it's part of a commercialized plot by Hallmark
to make people spent a stupid amount of money on traveling, gifts and
food to make yourself feel better that you aren't alone.
I'm
good. Really. I'm fine. Yes, it sucks to be here starting to celebrate a
'family' holiday alone.....but at least I'm not in Afghanistan. At
least I have a choice about how I spend my holiday. At least I can be
comfortable in my home with my puppy and talk to friends and family on
the phone. This is not an ideal way to spend the holidays but it isn't
Christmas unless Parker -my family- isn't here to celebrate with me. So,
I will happily sit with the puppers, open a few gifts (which may or may
not include a ipad...heehee) & enjoy a completely UNHEALTHY buffet
of junk food....watching bad movies and waiting for that special phone
call from my husband. Because, honestly, hearing from Parker at
Christmas, knowing he is safe...is the only gift I need.
Event Two: Friends.
I have spent a lot of time and effort to keep certain types of friends at arm's length. I have spent an equal amount of time trying to NOT be the type of friend I hate. I haven't always been successful NOT being that friend....but I have always tried to make up for my faults - no one is perfect, right? But in light of recent events I feel that not everyone is as diligent in their efforts.
In all honesty, I feel that much of the time I don't have much in common with most other military wives. Not out of some misplaced superiority; it's just that I'm a strange little one at the best of times, and often my 'quirks' are not well received by the vast majority of other wives. So, I chose to befriend 'civilian' wives and call it good.
My life in Virginia has prompted me to let my defenses down and make friends with several military wives. Many of whom are MUCH younger than me....which at 33, ten years can be a lifetime of generational no-man's land.....I'm 33, they are all 9-11 years younger. Problem? Yep.
The event or issue that has prompted a great deal of soul searching is this: If you promise to be there; be supportive; be a good friend in times of need, then you should make the attempt to be. If not, don't offer. If not, be a grown up and say so. If not, have the common courtesy to respond.
I asked several people to an event, rather than politely decline, or at least make something up....I get nothing. Nada. To further make the situation more upsetting; my invitation was no only ignored but it was followed -after several quiet days- with a request for ME to do THEM a favor. Really?
Am I over-reacting? Am I reading too much into this? Honestly?
Maybe it's this deployment.....maybe I'm over sensitive? Maybe I'm looking for too much?
Event Three: Career
This is a simple one. I think I have ventured down a path I wasn't meant to find. Through several years of looking and changing my career path; I realized that I end up in the area I seem to overlook. I overlook the obvious. And now that I have realized it, I feel I need to focus on it. I'm a Criminal Justice major. I love the area. But I ENJOY working in another area. I am built to nurture. I'm wired to help and overcome. I am made to work with kids. So, back to the drawing board?
Thank you listening
I will now return to my regular scheduled blogging....tomorrow.
