In light of recent events regarding the military member from Ft. Lewis/McChord and the subsequent 'spotlight' this has brought his family - namely his wife - I would like to point out something people may not fully realize. Or not. Maybe you have....but here it goes.
Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to extend my deepest sympathy to the family of this solider. I do NOT wish to further your pain or discomfort by discussing or 'using' anything you might have previously spoken of in your blog. I merely explain the struggles and restrictions many military families face in light of their spouses career choice.
You and your family have my deepest sympathy.
Secondly, I do not condone nor do I have any personal opinion on the actions of this military member. His actions and choices were his own and I cannot, nor would I ever, speculate on why he did what he did. The point of this blog is to comment on the privacy, or lack of, in situations such as these for the families, unwillingly thrown into the media spotlight.
My two cents......
It seems that the media's insatiable need to 'dig up' background to further substantiate their own opinions on this military family has reached an all time low. Media outlets have searched and found a blog that was created and updated by the wife of this solider and have used huge - and I might add out of context portions - of her blog. Her personal blog that she used to write about life as a military wife and her family's trials and tribulations.
Some might say; 'if you don't want it out there then post it on the Internet!'. How easy that must be to say when you are able to write about your loved one's accomplishments; career achievements; relocations and separations. It's easy to point a finger at this woman for telling her story, unaware that it would be used as fodder for a global media frenzy. She did what millions of people do a day - post information about life.....their life.
But it isn't that easy, is it?
It's a double standard. Or maybe just life. As a military wife I understand that 'putting myself out there' is a double edged sword. I can certainly post about my husband's career achievements and about our life as a military family.But as any military spouse might tell you.....that's not a great idea. OPSEC and all. But it's so hard not to. You want to share the joys of your life and seek advice when there is hardship; you want to celebrate a new move or homecoming; you want to vent about difficulties and laugh at funny situations. But you can't. NOT if that might come back later in his career and hurt him, or give away the times of a deployments; or innocently reference someone else.
There are several careers that this situation is relevant to but it seems that this career; a military career, can be more sensitive and more harshly judged than most. The burden it seems falls on not only the military member but their families as well.
We live in a bubble. We can see the world around us, but at times it feels as through we separate from it. We can interact within this world but we are held to a different standard - not a better one....just different. We seem to be judged much harder than so many others and held to a unfair standard.
I have recently experienced a very frustrating turn of events. Anger and frustration have been leading the charge in my opinions of certain people. But even as I write this.....I cannot say what, or who. I am a military wife and I cannot fully explain my situation without crossing a line that society, the military and the media have arbitrarily drawn. So be it.
Before you judge this woman and her family to harshly - remember that she was an innocent bystander; trying to find an outlet for her feelings and thoughts, much in the same way I am by writing this and you READING this.
