I have no filter. Why is that? Why am I completely unable to keep my thoughts and stupid comments to myself? - Although I'm pretty sure that if I had, I would have exploded by now - Maybe that's it....its a natural pressure release and by opening my trap I actually am saving myself, but imparting on an awkward & uncomfortable thought to those closest to me. Yeah, that's it.
Fuck.
Or maybe I have a deep-seeded need to make other people feel as uncomfortable as I feel all the time. I'm an incredibly selfish and needy person when you really think about it - & if I have to be miserable, then someone, or everyone, needs to join me. Misery enjoys company....blah, blah, blah.....
Goddammit.
Of course there is a small possibility that I need someone else to know what is going on up here...my head is a pretty messy place....Welcome to the absurd madness that is me. Little ole me. Yeah, good luck with that......
Crap.
I am absolutely incapable of make rational decisions, making choices that are not self-centered or absolutely focused on what I need or want. Fuck, I'm a man. No, I'm worse and far more dangerous, I'm a independent woman that has played a little game for so long, she isn't sure how to live without playing it.
I'm too old for this shit, and I'm getting to tired to play.
