One more thing....

Just a thought.

A few weeks ago my husband sent me a "funny" email - the ones that come with a picture to make a point. It was a picture of an Army soldier that was obviously heavier than regulation standards. It was, in short, an unflattering, and at the time, I'm sure it was amusing to those who saw it.

The picture has slowly morphed into a kind of mascot for other branches of the military. I have seen he powers of the Internet change the fuzzy cell phone picture into a series of 'motivational' posters, as well as the punchline of many Internet jokes. Army Strong has a whole new meaning now.

I am not going to sit here and try and say I took the high road, and didn't forward on the email. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't laugh, and didn't happily forward on this email to all the Army folks I know. I'm not going to justify my use of the email as a punchline to numerous Army Strong word lashings. -( Like my new phrase word lashings)-. And I wish I could say that I didn't take full advantage of this guy's downfall for my own personal amusement. I'm a douche.

But there the thing. I regret it. I'm ashamed of my self. And to those who rushed to judgment, and turned this guy into a punchline, you to should be ashamed.

Have you thought for a moment as to who this poor guy is? Take a second and think about his wife/girlfriend/whoever. What if he is father? Think about his family, and his loved ones. Sure, he is overweight, and he needs to lose weight. But have stopped to think that maybe there is a medical reason? Have you stopped to think that maybe he was injured and bedridden for months or years, and therefore the weight has been piling on, through no fault of his won.
Have you thought that maybe he trying to do something to help himself, and your callous behavior has cost him his last bit self-esteem.

Here is my last word on this....

He is an American soldier. He is fighting for his country. He is willing to die on YOUR behalf. So the next time you forward that email, or share a joke on his behalf, remember one thing....He fights for freedom to do so.

It really has to stop.

I have been mulling over this blog entry for a while now, and I have come the conclusion that it must see the light of day -- Warning blog entry is a bit like a cultural joke being said in to a group of mixed cultures ; i.e. uncomfortable, yet satisfying. And yes, you can laugh or smile, no one can see you.

Whiners - Shut. Up. Please. Is it a coincidence that if you replace one letter in this word you get Weiners? I think not. You know who you are! No matter what the circumstances you have to be the one with the worst case scenario bullshit occurring all at once. You are the person who eclipses everyone else difficult situation like a super nova. No cares. We stopped listening when you stopped being here for our personal amusement.

Where is all this ill-focused aggression coming from? Women, and military wives in particular. Sorry, fellow wives, but some of you seem to have been dropped off by the short bus, or are constantly throwing a pity party, or worse still enjoying playing the following game a little too much -- " I have it worse than you" --. Dear, God make it stop.

You know what, this life isn't easy, no one said it would be. But sitting around complaining about every little thing is pointless. You want to sound weak, pathetic, and incapable...be my guest. But I do not see why the rest of us have to be subjected to your endless lists of ' poor-pity-me's'.
You are young, and there is a lifetime of experience in front of you. Enjoy it. Take time to listen to those who have gone before. Listen to their stories of 'been there' done that, and survived to tell the fucking tale'. Being a girlfriend for 6-8 months while he is in basic doesn't qualify. I guarantee that saying that it does count to a seasoned military wife is going to get you cut down to size, and have a confrontation you might not walk a way from.
Why, oh why do you crumble like a badly stacked set of Jenga bricks the minute he steps from the front door? He will be back in two weeks. Newsflash -- TWO weeks is not a deployment. Yes, it sucks. But you will survive. Learn, and move on.

You might think that I ma being over harsh on these women. And maybe you are right. But I stand among this community of women and I do so proudly. I understand the sacrifices a military wife has to make. I have many military friends that stand with me when I say " Really? SHUT THE FUCK UP. Life is hard but all have to deal with it, and we do so with our big girl pants on. YOU outta the pool!".

Your cry-baby-, whiney ass-blubbering, entitlement-issued, back-stabbing, pity party can kiss my ass. Stop whining.

Bitter - table of one?

Food ~ Too. Much. Food.

"McDonald's actually charges customers more to buy a smaller, lower-calorie meal,"


Bad fast food companies, bad. How dare they blind us to the healthier food option! How could they muddy the waters of trans fat goodness, by forcing us into bigger and bigger sizes by ingenuously making the healthier options more expensive! Who the hell saw that one coming? DUH!

I'm guilty of it too. As I roll my tired, and lazy ass through the 'McDrive Thru' -- Yeah, I think its hilarious that in Germany they have McDrive's -- I gaze upon the artery choking menu, and I Super size! My eyes are always bigger than my stomach. Or at least that is my story right now. *insert awkward pause here* Is it my complete incapacity to limit myself to a small hamburger and fires that is the problem, or is the mass-marketing fast food companies fault???

I would love to sit here and blame the mega companies of Taco Bell, and McDonald's for my weakness to saying no to ' Yo Quiero Taco Bell' , and ' I'm lovin' it'. I can see in self denial and say it is the ease and convenience of fast food establishments that have slowly chipped away at my ability to say NO. I can always blame the parental units of my upbringing for introducing fast food into my diet, and therefore, making me part of a generation that grew up on hamburger heaven out of parental convenience.

But, that's just a cop out. I, we, are born with a sense of will power, and the common sense to know we have a choice. Unfortunately, most of know we have the right to choice, we just have the inability to use it. There being the flaw that McD's uses to a incredible advantage. Damn you!

Let's face it folks - We have a problem and the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Think about it, if we as a buying public just stopped ordering Supersized meals, and just bought the regular meals- would there still be Supersized anything?

And now I must scream.

Frustration ~ "4. a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems."

Oh, I have unsolved problems alright. The story that is my life seems to held together by unresolved Goddamn problems. Its never the big problems of life; never the curve balls of life. Its those little, irritating bug bite of life that will turn a sane,well-adjusted adult, into a blubbering mess in the corner. You are smiling right about now because you know of what I speak! You know that one little errand of the day that should only take a few minutes out of your day, will cost hours of frustrated yelling, and expelling of pent up aggression focused at the first person who " offers advice"....And I'm using *quotation fingers* for extra sarcasm.

Ok, so what am I whining about. ONLINE FUCKING BANKING.

A technological marvel of the modern age. A wonderful time saver which allows you to save minutes of your day, that you can instead use more productively playing online Solitaire at work, instead of standing like a sheep in a mile long line at the bank during your lunch hour. OR in my case -- I live in Germany -- I can conveniently deposit any checks from the comfort of my home, 24/7, without having to overcome the serious obstacle of being THOUSANDS of miles AWAY from the nearest branch of my bank. A bank which will remain nameless.....but it begins with 'U' ends with 'A' and has two SS's in the middle. Did I say too much?

Deposit at home MY BUTT! I followed the damn instructions to the letter. Nada. I get as far as uploading the front of the check, and for reasons unknown, the thing freezing up, or alerts me to the fact that *I* have not cropped the check properly. NEWSFLASH - The freaking check looks just like ALL the properly cropped checks - so what's the freaking problem!!!!!
Maybe it's the iMac. Apple isn't compatible with shit.
I have two other laptops that aren't Mac.....maybe that will work. NO. I fall over in shock. Really???? WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING.

I am now reduced to rocking back and forth in the corner, glaring at the computer, and the scanner, mumbling obscenities. Douche.

So, here I am with a check, that I have to get deposited before it expires -- so not my fault that I forgot about it, and waited this long. really. -- and I am forced to go old skool. USPS. Crap. I don't have a stamp. FUCCCCCCCCK.

And now I must scream.

Eye Candy ~

By kind permission of Aaron White ~ aka. The Husband ~ Mad skills, babe - Mad skills.