Why can't we all get along?

Call me naive. Call me idealistic. Call me crazy.

But over the past week I can't help notice a distinct lack of understanding; unbridled ignorance & down right ridiculousness.

For your viewing pleasure & as an introduction to my rant - I give you an image that moved me this week. *Don't worry...I really do have a point.....just give me a minute*

During my usual mid-evening, Internet surfing on Pinterest I came across this picture.  I was deeply moved by this. Maybe because of my own situation as a military wife who is waiting at home patiently for my love to come home.....or maybe because it's about DAMN TIME!! This picture isn't and shouldn't be about the fact that it is two men - but rather that it is about to PEOPLE who are in love & are expressing their love in a way that so many of us take for granted.
I'm also not ashamed to admit that it brought a tear to my eye - and that I was a little more than jealous...as any military spouse would be when witnessing a homecoming. Semper Fi, brother. Semper Fi.

Now for my rant.

WHY is this picture such a big deal???? Oh wait, it's two guys....my bad. Seriously, AMERICA! Wake the hell up!!! So it's two guys.....AND???? It's more than two men kissing - it's two PEOPLE in love. It's a military boyfriend who has waited patiently at home; looking forward to that moment when he sees his man coming to him from across a room. That is the moment, we as loved ones, have been waiting for....the moment every MOMENT of the past six months has been building towards.....Nothing matters but seeing their face and holding on to them and never letting go again.
There are thousands of these pictures and videos across the Internet & each one is special - and in my opinion this is just as special.

Which brings me to this point.....
Don't you DARE judge me for posting this picture. I have been messaged by several *friends* that have called my support of such a picture as inappropriate. Well, let me answer your ignorance with my fury....

1. Yes, he's in uniform. Your point? I can't tell you how many times I have witnessed this kind of affection while the military member is in full uniform. You tell a military couple who has been separated for 6-12 months not to embrace!!! I fucking dare ya. " Oh, hold on honey....I gotta get changed first....hold that thought". ARE you FREAKING SERIOUS? It's not the uniform you have an issue with is it? It's the fact he is gay and GOD FORBID this should reflect the Marine Corps values and stand on homosexuality. Don't ask, don't tell is GONE. The Marine Corps is built on integrity & aren't as ignorant as you are. 
2. He is a Marine. Stand proud brother! Yes. There are gay Marines. YES. There are gay Airmen.....and Sailors....and soldiers.....and gay people in general.....THEY ARE PEOPLE, just like you and me. And I proudly applaud their sacrifice to our country. It's about damn time these men and women get the respect they so deserve. They are ready to die for you.....and all you can do is condemn them for their sexual preference. Shame on you, shame.
3. I am a proud military wife. And I stand with ALL military wives, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends......regardless of who they chose to love.
4. And lastly, do you even know me? I'm a rare breed of liberal - rare because so many military families are not liberal. I was raised by a strong, independent mother who taught me tolerance and acceptance. Not that I feel that there is any need for tolerance and acceptance BECAUSE they are doing nothing ANY military family wouldn't do coming off a deploy.

Call me naive. Call me idealistic. Call me crazy.


To Cpl. Brandon Morgan -

Welcome Home and Thank you for your Service. 

From
A military wife

Silent ranks? Hardly....

No matter where my life has taken me - be it a new job, career, education or living situation - I find my place among those around me and I adjust accordingly. Despite the fact that I'm a 'walking to the beat of my own drum' kind of girl; however, I recognize that there are some situations and interactions that require me to temporarily dive into the mainstream and walk to the same beat. I do not think this makes me any different from most people? Any normal person wants to fit in and be part of something bigger than themselves.

And yet, there are certain lifestyles that require a more traditional & consistent conformity that has always confused me. Military life......

I have recently taken to reading free samples of new & old books through iBooks/B&N...etc. This has encouraged me to check out books that I normally would avoid - but if it's free to try what have I got to lose?  So I came across a series of books that targets military wives. Why not, I thought? After reading my first 3 or 4 free chapters of "Confessions of a Military Wife"; I realized why.....

The life of a military spouse is something that is different for everyone. It is what you make of it. It can be a wonderful experience or it can be a constant competition and battle to define yourself. After reading some of these books - more specifically "Confessions of a Military Wife"- I realized that there seem to be more of the latter than the former. And then I wondered to myself....where do I fall?

What kind of wife to I see myself as being? Easy. I'm Kris! I'm me and a wife to a military man second. How hard is that? But I can say that now, I can say that as I currently have no expectations being placed upon me; no social activities I *need* to go to.....I'm a world apart from most right now....I'm a deployed spouse.

Awesome a sub-culture within a culture.....it's like the rings of hell from Dante's Inferno.

I suppose where I going with this is - I read how military wives perceive their roles as wives as they seem to be riding the coattails of their spouse.....that somehow the position their spouse holds gives them the right to expect the same treatments as their Sr. ranking spouse? The attitude among many senior ranking spouses that there needs to be segregation within housing; within all social activities; within base activities.....wow. I'm honestly offended by just reading this crap. Did I fall down and wake up during the segregation times of the 50's, 60's......???

Maybe I'm naive. Maybe I have yet to realize my place within the ranks of an officer world. But, honestly, I don't want to be associated with such a culture of isolation & superiority.

And the idea that wives are the *silent ranks* is laughable. Think about it. 

Random thoughts of a Strep throat.....

Yes, I am one of those lucky people who regularly suffer from Strep Throat - I see it as one of my Super Powers. I can boldly go from healthy to Strep in 2.5 seconds. Oh yes. Be jealous.

As a precursor to this blog entry of rambling, ridiculous thoughts; I would like to say the following : Strep Throat for those who have not experienced it is a double-sided coin of burden. On one side you have a low grade fever; a swollen throat that makes you feel as though every time you swallow you are choking on razor blades and sometimes the pain radiates into your jaw. The other side of that coin is......feeling fine otherwise. I'm not sure that is the same for everyone. But other than my throat/jaw pain...I feel pretty good. So it's difficult to just sit and do nothing.....it is for me at least.

So this is the reason for my mindless rambling of thoughts - I spent two days trying to take it easy and rest. As a result I watched 'daytime' programming.....Oh. My.God.......

Random Thoughts of a Strep Throat

 "Daytime Programming" scares me. As I flipped through the channels I saw angry, poorly-dressed, fist-fighting, ignorant  people screaming at each other.....and THAT was only FOX News and the current political campaigns. Not to mention the daytime soaps......and Judge JUDY....and game shows.....I swear my IQ fell a few points before I finally decided to turn it off.  Now I know how many of you are going to read this and say, " I would give my right arm to have some down time in the middle of day...and watching crappy programming....lucky you".....Ok. Tell ya what.....I'll give you strep and I'll watch your kids for the day! Oh yes.....that's how much I hate being all streppy and stupid. I blame the fever.....

Did you know that BANANAS feel like battery acid when you eat them with a Strep throat? Not sure how that happens....considering they are on the alkaline on the spectrum...but my throat is not happy when I eat 'em. Hummus isn't funny either. GAH! My two favorite foods right now. Is the burn worth it.....yes. I'll suffer.

I ended up watching the Lord of the Ring trilogy this weekend. I have come to a few conclusions......

1. Frodo is a whiny bitch. 
2. Stryder is hot.
3. Sam is the real hero. Afterall, he has plenty opportunity to leave Frodo's whiny ass.
4. Bromance. Oh Sam. <3
5. I'd give up an immortal life too, if Aragorn was the reason. True story.
6. I wouldn't have made it past the spider. *instant heart attack*
7. Really a spider THAT BIG and it is scared of a nightlight? Really?
8. Why won't Glolum die?
9. A woman and a midget kill the ALL Powerful Ghost King that an army and hundreds of years couldn't. Really? Proves the 'takes a woman to do a man's job' adage, huh?
10. I really need to lay off the colds. meds when I watch this stuff.

Those are just a few thought I had while watching these movies...and yes, I watch them ALL.

Ok. Enough of these ramblings.
For now.
*evil cackle....cough...cough...hack...* Ugh. 

Karma or kindness - Cosmic Destiny?

You know when you have done something to help another; or you take a moment to 'pay it forward'; or you just do something for someone else because you can....and not because you believe you should.....Is that Karma or kindness? Why do we feel the need to attribute it to something cosmic? Why can't it be human nature to help? Can't we simply just do the right thing and say it was just me; my need or want to help a fellow human being.....

Maybe the difference or our need to label comes from the situation itself. If we help a friend or a family member or someone we 'know' it's perceived as kindness. And if we help a stranger it's Karma - because we don't know this person and we are going out of our way to help them through something or with something.

I don't buy it.

Yesterday I took my puppy to my local pet store. Once or twice a week I take him there to hang out with other dogs - where he can be socialized and do some training......ok, so it's 'doggy daycare'....but the little guy loves and the staff adore him. I have become a regular figure at this pet store; I'm known as 'Shadow's mom' and they have helped us through the different growing stages of a Great Dane, i.e. what food to buy, treats to get, harnesses/leashes/collars to use, training classes to take...etc. It has been so helpful!! And in the course of learning about my dog I have become friends with one or two of the girls that work there. We chat about Shadow.....have coffee on their off days and hang out on the weekends. Nice.
So yesterday I noticed one of the girls leaving the store and walking home - I didn't know her as well as the others - I pulled over and offered her a ride home. Seemed like the right thing to do. As soon as she looked up at me to answer I could see the tears in her eyes.
She climbed in and as we drove out of the parking area I asked her if she was ok. She wasn't. And immediately began to cry; and immediately apologized. No need to say your sorry.....tell me about it, it will make you feel better, I replied. And she did.

We, in a few short hours, talked about her life, her children and her pain. In a few short hours we found out we had a lot in common and that talking about life in general was what we both needed. IN a few short hours we become friends. Exchanging numbers, FB names and making plans for another coffee morning.

Is it Karma that I helped her when I did; realizing later that we both needed a shoulder to cry on? Is t Karma that allowed our paths to cross when we needed it most?
Or was it simple kindness. Knowing that someone needed a hand and knowing that I was happy to offer.

My mother tells me that I am the finder of Lost Souls. And maybe I am. But more often than not those lost souls find me and I often wonder if I'm the lost soul looking for answers. In the end I learn more form these people - who become my closest friends- I sometimes believe that I get more out of these friends than I put in. So maybe it is some cosmic destiny?

And if I find them and they find me are they really lost souls?

The Philosophical battle continues.......

Spiders and webs and stupid, OH MY!

I would like to think that I am a normal person with a normal fear response.....dealing with with a fear in rational way....calmly removing myself from the fear-induced situation with grace and calm.

F**K that.

I swear that Virginia and the southern states as a whole, make everything more....more obvious or bigger....or something. I know that my home state of California does NOT have such GIANT critters roaming it's country side. Ok....so I can't really back that up....but I honestly can say there was NEVER anything large, or creepy, or so big you can hear them moving across the floor, casting a shadow on the freaking wall.
What am I talking about?

BUGS. SPIDERS. Oh my God.

You will never normally see me moving around in crawl spaces in ANY house, nor will you see voluntarily rummaging around in a garage or basement. Why? Because I KNOW what lives in those dark, unused areas of any house. Ain't gonna happen. I will stick my hand down a nasty drain to clear a clog; I will I stick my hand in a toilet to retrieve a fallen item; I will clean up dog crap and I will clean up vomit from a dozen kids at the center before I will even THINK about going into a disused attic space or crawl space under a porch. I don't care if there is a million dollars hidden in there somewhere. NOPE. Not happenin'.

So against my better judgment I thought about venturing out under the porch yesterday. A cat had gotten herself trapped under there and I didn't want the poor thing to be stuck. I spent several minutes, gingerly checking out the door to crawl space.....looking for evidence of large creepy crawlies ( yes that is a scientific term).....I carefully opened the door (which creaked open....seriously I can't make this stuff up...it was like a bad horror flick) and I spent another few minutes scanning the entry with a flashlight.

Seems legit.

I ventured in about four steps - crouching down as it wasn't tall enough to fully stand - and scanned the area again. I saw the little cat and called to her. As I did I felt that I had brushed up against something. *WARNING Will Robinson...WARNING!!* I turned to my left and there was - at first glance- a flimsy piece of screen - which I assumed had been left over from the original construction. 

At this point I would like to say - that it was NOT a piece of screen.

On further inspection of said piece of screen with my flashlight (it was dusk), it slowly dawned on me that it was no screen.......it was a LARGE, wispy, HANGING Spider Web. It was covered in a film of dust & dirt which gave it the appearance of being something more solid.....AND it was sprinkled in dead bug carcasses and LIVE Spiders.

Oh. HELL. NO.

I would like to say my exit was graceful. But it wasn't. As I turned to RUN I missed the overhead beam by a millimeter, in doing so I fell BACKWARDS toward the nightmare web and began to scream NOOOOOOOOO. The cat and now the dog.....were running out of the crawl space...leaving me to my doom. Bastards. I swear I heard the collective spider colony scream NO too. I managed to recover by grabbing onto the handle of a broken wheel barrel ( .....wow I didn't know we had one...ARGH...NO time for that now!!) As I righted myself and sprung forward I realized the handle was covered in smaller webs and that I had that spidery crap all over my hand and arm.....OH GOD NOOOOOOO.

I got out of there, slammed the door shut and sat for several minutes (after I scrubbed my hand with hot water and changed my hoodie) on the porch with a cigarette, staring at the gaps in the porch floor; thinking to myself.....they are plotting my end, aren't they?

This is what nightmares are made of.
If it wasn't for that cat....and her big green eyes staring at me through the slats of the porch....doing her best imitation of Puss in Boots from Shrek.....that shit would NOT have happened. I'm pretty sure her only hesitation from leaving on her own - back through the gap in the fence/screen - was she got in there and realized there was scary web standing between her and freedom. Bitch.

Needless to say I am contacting an exterminator Monday.
Until then I will sleep with a can of hairspray and a lighter.

Carry on.