Everyday I'm shufflin'

....Everyday I'm Shufflin'.....
You know when you get a song stuck in your head and no matter what you do...it LINGERS. Yep. Everyday I'm shufflin' is a broken freaking record in my head and it won't stop. Why can't it be a good one? Why is it that the songs that get stuck on permanent repeat are the bubble-gum songs??

These are the very questions that keep me up at night.

Ok. So the reason for today's post......running.

My secret is I am running. Not from anything in particular; except maybe the fat on my ass. But I thought to myself - why not? The answer to this question was horrifically apparent on my first attempt.

I CANNOT RUN. Nor SHOULD I. *runner's high, my ASS!!*

And yet, I tried this running thing again the following day. O.U.C.H. What the fuck is wrong with you people? And yet, I tried again. And again. And Again. Getting the picture yet?

I walk my dog several miles every other day. Not sure if it is more for him or for me....or maybe both. But during my travels I see the beautiful people, gracefully run past me, glowing in the sweat of their run and looking relatively happy. The sleek form of someone running effortlessly past you makes you feel like a slug. A unhealthy slug. Yeah, I'm a sucker for peer pressure, WHAT?

So there I stood. Trusty husband beside me.....ready to tackle a run. Good start that lasted abooooouuuttttt.......um, two minutes.....*OXYGEN....I need OXYGEN* Fail. Walking, that's the ticket! Walking. Oh wait, I can breathe normally again. RUNNING......stop. Help. I can't breathe. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh yeah....walking.
Repeat and rinse.

Observations

1. I need to stop smoking. You would have thought this would have been obvious to me BEFORE running. Uh no.
2. I should probably be more realistic in my goals. Marathon runner I am NOT; but causal jogger....sure. Maybe. Possibly.
3. The proper equipment is actually useful, as this activity causes sweating, chaffing and lots of movement in a certain 'chest' area. Girls you know of what I speak. Right! Well, out to the sporting goods store I go.
4. When running on a trail - watch out for protrusions from roots and alike. It hurts when you land. Face first. IN the dirt.
5. Slow and steady might not win the race but it will allow you to LIVE to see the end of the race - and really isn't that all that matters?

So here I am friends. Alive and Semi-well. I may never be graceful or run a race but I believe the lesson here is - trying. I am trying to experience something new and maybe be decent at it. At the every least I would like to enjoy it....sans the gasping for air part.

See you on the trails my friends!
I'll be the one passing out in the side of the path...don't worry I'll catch up....
Eventually.....

This is painfully boring.....

There are few things I love more than learning something new. Ok....there are a lot of things I enjoy but learning is right up there. * I wonder where this was in my senior year of high school...smoke haze* I am a constant student; soaking in as much as I can; trying to file away in my brain all the interesting facts and information I can. As such I am back in school and aiming high! I'm ready to get that next degree and start something new.

BUT.....GEN 200 was not what I had in mind. *brain stroke*

There are FEW things out there that I am unable to overlook and plod through. I'm like a stubborn donkey *HEE HAWWWW* I CANNOT tolerate boring-classroom, pyshco-jargon filled personality tests. WHY is this relevant? Why do I need to suffer through pysch-tests to determine my ethical lens perspective? I know that that my ethical perspective is one step above a toddler that believes everything they touch and see is theirs. I KNOW that I'm not a team player. I know that this is just another bullshit class every university uses to profile their students and get more tuition monies out of their newbie students. Myth BUSTED. Now let's move ON.

Every time I log onto to this class (a REQUIRED class nonetheless) my brain almost immediately shuts down and strokes out due to the lack of anything remotely interesting or NEW. Yes, this isn't a new concept university type people. You aren't breaking any new ground - the only thing you are breaking is my will to live.
With every repetitive question you ask - I lose a little more IQ.
With every tutorial video I am forced to endure - I lose a little more will to live.
With every 'team building' exercise - I lose more patience.

Make it stop.

1. I know that Wikipedia isn't a peer-reviewed, academically accepted  source.
2. I have spell check. Point made. Let's move on......
3. I don't like other people. Especially in a group format - let's not place me in a situation where I'm going to make someone cry.
4. My 'ethical perspective' is about as developed as toddlers.......and I said NO. I won't do it. So there.
5. Fuck your color wheels, "What I want to be when I grow up" tests and "What color are You" can we all say....WHAT THE HELL.
6. If my opinion offends you then......DO NOT post to my response....otherwise someone is going to leave this discussion crying and it ain't gonna be me.
7. A 350-500 word 'paper' isn't a PAPER! It's a statement. Who the hell writes a thesis statement and a informal layout for something like that? *anger-rising*

So yeah. I'm slowly losing my give a fuck factor.

Last seen - sleeping and drooling over laptop. Wake up when the class is over.

Once again......

Once again I am moved by the words and actions of others. I am moved by the courage and honesty that some people are unafraid to share. Once again I moved by the change that can happen if you look around & see the strength in others. And once again I feel moved enough to say something......i.e. shameless blog steal....

I have questions when I read things in the news and in fellow bloggers posts. I question their motives; their opinions and most often, I question their common sense. But most of all I question their ability to love and accept. It doesn't seem like such a hard concept to master.......but I guess that makes me a naive, unrealistic little girl, huh? What a shame.

I feel so fortunate not to be burdened by hatred of other people. I feel happy to know I do not judge someone by their appearance, or by their choice of love. But maybe I do. Am I not human? Is it not human to err?

So I sat here this morning reading a blog post by a fellow blogger and at the end, there was a request to share his blog post on Facebook. This wasn't some strategy to selfless promote his blog - by rather to promote the content of the post....the message it carries.....a message of change and of acceptance.  And yet, there I was staring at that little blue button 'FB' and I hesitated. Why? I have blurted out more controversial issues on my own page and was happy to 'debate' the issues and stand my ground - regardless of the lost of friends or hurt feelings. But for some reason I was hesitant to share this opinion. So maybe I AM part of the problem? Maybe I do have a certain amount of judgment towards others?

Oh how tiring.

So here it is.

Homosexuality - I don't care. Really I don't. In fact I am always confused by the fact that we need to make some distinction between 'gay' people and 'straight' people. I mean, why can't we all be people? Love who you will......be loved as you want......I'm happy just to know you are loved.

Religion - Ok.....and? Worship what you want. Believe in what you want. I suppose my only issue is that you don't expect everyone else to worship your 'god' too. I may question your choices but I do not condemn you for making them. I believe that debate and questioning other people's beliefs creates understanding and is a healthy part of learning.....not judgement.

Race - Why is it still a source of such unabashed hatred? I don't care what color you are; I care about WHO you are as a person. I have met and loved people of ALL races and backgrounds. AND YES, I have been hurt and angered by people of other races......but I don't dislike them based on their color but rather their individual treatment of me. I also do not allow my anger based on a personal interaction to taint my view of that race as a whole. Learn the difference!

Class - We live in the 21st century everyone. Get. A. Grip. Rich or poor we are all worth more than our material possessions. And if you have more than the next person - SHARE. It is a fundamental lesson we are taught in Kindergarten.

We all have rash moment of anger - where we judge someone for their actions and sometimes we hold all people of that ethnicity or sex or religion to that same standard. But for most of us we try and understand that personal interactions with one 'bad apple' shouldn't be the standard we hold all other to.
I don't understand what will drive a parent to hate their gay child. I don't understand why a person of color continues to be racial profiled. I don't understand why a child lives in poverty when there is such prosperity. I don't understand why you can hate someone for their choice of religion when you are taught tolerance and compassion.  I don't understand why you say what you are told rather than what you really feel.

I don't understand and I never will. I can only hope that I teach my children acceptance and compassion - and they will help change the world.

Sharing that post is a good start....

Chocolate Eggs, Bunnies & The Rising Dead

Before I proceed, I would like to make it clear that as you read this keep in mind the following:

1. I grew up Catholic. The whole nine. I get it, but most importantly I understand it.
2. I am NOT fanatical about my current beliefs. Worship *who* and *what* you want.
3. I believe that laughter & curiosity DO NOT equal misunderstanding and hatred when speaking about another person's beliefs.
4. The idea of Easter and Lent has always interested me.....even as a child.

So. Here we go.

• Chocolate Eggs. What egg-actly (see what I did there....made a little joke....) does that have to do with the religious aspect of Easter? Ok, that was poorly worded. I am confused by the association we make between chocolate, eggs & Easter. Traditionally, Easter is a Christian feast celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Did he sense chocolate and got an AMEN? (Another little joke....don't get yo panties in a twist) Were there offerings of Cadbury Eggs placed before him when he rose form the dead? I think not.
  I get it. It's a commerical development, funded by chocolate companies to market their goods at the holidays. BUT WHO REALLY THOUGHT this was appropriate? I would love to be in on that meeting....." So, Bob....Christ is risen.....how do we spin that? CHOCOLATE EGGS AND SCARY MEN DRESSED AS BUNNIES!!!" Well played. 
• Easter bunnies. Wow. Really? Yes, yes, yes......It's all a play on Spring and new life.....after all what says new life and no birth control (*poke* at the Christian belief on life and birth control) like bunnies creating new life like,...well.....bunnies. But the Easter Bunny is now the International (well maybe not international....but you get the idea) symbol of Easter.
  Pretty sure Jesus would be staring blankly at the lot of us thinking..." Really? THAT'S what you took from my rising form the dead. FAIL. EPIC FAIL.

Still with me?? Laughing a little on the inside, huh? Don't be afraid......I know you have asked yourself the same questions..... I did when I was a wee Catholic schoolgirl in Scotland.....didn't end well.

• The Rising Dead. Ok. This is a sensitive subject for so many and I have no desire to be burned at the stake or stoned to death for voicing an opinion. So I suppose it's not really an opinion as much as curiosity & questions. It has always creeped me out a little.....I mean.....he was dead and now he is up and walking around? Ewwwww. How do you explain that to the masses at the time with farmers with picks and torches chasing after him???? *too much?*
  Maybe it's symbolic? But the way so many religious types talk and act - it lends itself to be factual and real; more than a symbolic expression. Have I missed something?
  Is he a Zombie? I mean, by definition he is pretty much there. Is it sacrilegious to suggest this? If so....why? Zombie isn't a derogatory term....merely a descriptive term.    

I am fully aware of the religious symbolism of Easter and the Rising of Christ. I poke fun but I do so because I am confused by the symbolism and the fact that so many people have forgot that every point - SYMBOLISM.

The idea of Easter & many other Christian beliefs are to teach people morals, principles & further understanding and compassion of others.In all honesty folks, I think you missed the boat on that one. So much of these "Christina Holidays & Feasts" are rooted and based in Pagan traditions. There were taken and "tweaked" to meet the needs of a changing human civilization....hence, the chocolate eggs. Oh yeah, you thought I was going all serious and shit, huh?

Bottom line - Enjoy your weekend; your Mass; your Easter Egg Hunt......
Believe in what you want.....
I'm going to celebrate a nice weekend with grilling and beer......
I'm no longer Catholic.....I'm something else.....
A cookie to the person who can figure out what that is. :D

Carry On....