March 4th 2013
Today's Spotlight:
The husband
You know how people say during acceptance speeches that they, "wouldn't be here if it were not for ______...." I think I can say, without hesitation, that I wouldn't be here if it were not for my husband. And when I say that I mean it......because if it were not for him I would still be enjoying a cigarette without the complete and utter guilt he would laid on me.
Am I bitter? Maybe.
But my husband did in fact put in this position. I truly could not bare to listen to him complain and bitch about my smoking....ONE. MORE. SECOND.
I can ignore A LOT of nagging, complaining and whining; I'm a childcare provider by nature - but I am SOOOOOO tired of hearing my husband make snide comments about smoking....the smell.....the cost....the...the....well, you get the picture.
So here I am Babe! I'm smoke free and I thank you for you support and...well, you're nagging. :) You get a free pass on this one!
I love youuuuuu.
I hope this has added many more happy years to our life together. (see how that back-fired on ya!)
You are amazing.
Day Three : Valentine's Day 2013
Today's Spotlight:
People in my life that are toxic, mean-spirited & hurtful.....
To these people:
I am tired of being your punching bag. I am tired of being the source of unwarranted exclusion and your personal cause of everything that is wrong in your life. I didn't put in that situation; I didn't do anything to cause you to be miserable; I didn't make the poor life choices you have.
I have chosen to be a mature, self-reliant adult who takes responsibility for my actions and stands by every damn decision I have made....right or wrong. If you don't like the way I lead my life that's on you. No one is forcing to hang around, if fact I would rather you didn't.
From this moment on.....I REFUSE to be the reason you are upset, disappointed or otherwise pissed off with how your life has turned out. If you had chosen to be responsible and made the hard decisions you might be happy too. Life is hard. Life is meant to be hard - it's the hard times that help you learn and help you grow into a better person. Nothing in life is free and you certainly shouldn't go around expecting people to hand you things - get off your ass and DO SOMETHING more positive than jugde others for their actions.
I am making another choice in my life - it isn't an easy one and it might possibly be one of the hardest things in my life. But I CHOSE to smoke and now I'm CHOOSING to stop. And now, I am choosing to get rid of ALL the other toxic crap in my life.
If you can't be there with something positive to say....if you can't be there without expecting more in return....if you can't be a friend to me.....if you can't stop yourself from showing me how much YOU DON'T care about my feelings.....FUCK OFF. I am tired of your childish behavior. And I'm tired of being excluded...grow up.
Day Two: February 13th 2013
So you wanna quit, huh? Why not ask your friendly American Lung Association for some helpful hints! Like....oh, I dunno, 100 things to do instead of using tobacco products....
'Bird-watching' -- Are you freaking serious? If only I had know that watching birds would have saved me from a life ruled by tobacco, I would have taken it up YEARS ago. Said no one ever.
'Make someone smile' -- Um. Make SOMEONE smile? How about make the nicotine deprived, crazy woman SMILE. Obviously the person who penned these little gems of wisdom has never been a smoker.....make someone smile. BITE. ME.
'Learn to juggle' -- Oh. MY. GOD. I can't.....WHO the fuck are you? A goddamn Hobbit? Some crazed midget juggler looking for a new career in motivational speaking? JUGGLING is the best you got?
'Walk barefoot in the sand' -- ok, now you are just mocking me. This isn't some Calvin Klein perfume commerical, you asshole. This is real life and the first person that tells me that they chose this option when they get a craving for a cigarette is going to get my foot up their ass.
'Learn a new skill' -- I am. I'm learning not to smoke and NOT to track down the person who wrote this stupid fucking list and light their hair on fire.
'Drink juice instead of caffeinated drinks - lower your caffeine intake' -- OK, hold on.....lower, what? I don't think so. If I have to give up coffee AND CIGARETTES - there is no reason to live. So yeah, I am feeling a little depressed and sensing the URGE to harm someone.....
'Make a friend' -- I'm sensing a pattern here. This is supposed to give me the warm and fuzzies.....all rainbows and friendship bracelets and shit. NO. Just....no.
And my personal favorite....
'Whistle - Be happy, don't worry' -- I sense a stroke coming on.....my brain is literally overloaded by the amount of sappy, unhelpful, ridiculous, mind-boggling annoying, unrealistic BULLSHIT I have every heard. YOU, sir....OUTTA THE POOL.
I can't help but envision a short, juggling clown, watching birds as he whistles; all the while contemplating how he is going to write these 'helpful' hints for smokers, in order to fuck our day.
Bastard.
Day One : February 12th 2013
As I hinted in my main blog -- I have decided to start a page dedicated to my TOBACCO FREENESS.
(Yes, freeness is a word....well, it is now, shut up)
As a result I want to take this moment to highlight some people that have brought me to this point - these people aren't the only ones in my life that helped me more than they know, but they are the first to be in the spotlight!
The Husband:
I'm not sure how to begin here. He is my everything. He has pushed me through difficult times; he has held my hand in painful times; he has cheered for me when no one else could or would. I wouldn't be where I am today if it were for his love and unconditional support.
And if I have to hear him complain ONE MORE TIME about smelling smoke....I swear I gonna throttle him. :-) I make the little joke....
He believes in me. He tells me that not matter what he is proud of me.
I have to earn that.
I have to prove to him and to myself that I CAN DO THIS.
And no goal is too far away, when you have someone to hold your hand and tell it is going to be ok.
This one's for you Babe. I want to spend my life with you. I want to grow old with you.
You are my first motivation.
I love you always & forever, Babe.
Mama Awesome:
So, if you guys
know me, you know who Mama Awesome is. I generally do not use 'real'
names on here for privacy reasons and honestly, everyone knows her as
Mama Awesome anyway!
She is my mom-in-law. She is an
amazing woman that I fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship
with. (Apparently not all mom-in-law's are awesome?)
I am
spotlighting her today because, not only is she awesome, but she is
taking this journey too! She has been a smoker for many
years.....many....years. And recently, she has stopped! She has been
tobacco free for over 3 months now!!! She is my hero! She has discovered
all the amazing things she can now do without getting out of breath!
I am so super proud of her and I can't wait until I feel the same sense of accomplishment as her!
Love you Mama Awesome!
