Memorial Day

For some it is a weekend of BBQ's, family gatherings, retail sales & the beginning of summer.

For others it is a weekend dedicated to remembering the fallen; those who have served; those who continue to serve and to remember those you gave all.

Which one are you?

I will not sit here and pretend that I am perfect. I spent my weekend working on the house; talking with friends, barbequing some steaks and relaxing with a beer or two. 
But on this day - I hope to take a minute to remember the sacrifice of the men & women of our armed forces - here and abroad - and say Thank you.

Can you do the same?
Maybe.

But I can't help but feeling as if this weekend, this day; has been molded into something different. I feel as if Memorial Day has been overtaken by Hallmark and retail giants and made into something it was never intended to be.
When did we forget?

I cannot forget.

Here is my tribute.

Never forgotten.

Donald Rinker, Lt. Cmdr. USN. (World War II)
Anthony Rae Martinez, Cpl, US Army (Vietnam)
Lisa Ann Jorgensen, (USAF)Veteran
David Jorgensen, (USAF) Veteran

To those who serve.

William Parker Hamilton
William Muir Hamilton
Joesph Pagnoni

I am proud to honor and support my family of military members.
Your sacrifice is never forgotten and will never be taken for granted.
I will take a moment; a quiet moment - to remember you.
But I take that moment every day; every deployment; every separation.

Thank you.
Hoo-AH!
Hoorah!
Semper Fi!

And another thing.....OSMW.....

::Shaking my head::

I am, at times, so embarrassed by my association with the military community. I appreciate and support the military members and the jobs they do; however, it's the damn families I have a problem with. As time goes on, it seems that the whining, entitlement issues and the lack of perspective of so many of our military families increases.

So as I stare at the few 'support' pages I occasionally visit and receive questions from a few misinformed wives on my blog, I begin to wonder......really? This can't continue, my IQ falls a point every time you speak?!

A few of the subjects that I cannot tolerate being a subject of conversation AT ALL

1. Tricare.
It is a benefit of the military. It is not a right.
If you don't like it, please take the following suggestions to heart and make an informed decision.

A. Be grateful you have it. Our country's medical care system finds millions of people dying from lack of simple healthcare and basic nutritional guidance. YOU as a spouse are in a fortunate position that you and your family can and will receive decent medical care and guidance on health & nutrition if you CHOSE to use CORRECTLY.
B. Take a moment to actually read the various plans available to you BEFORE you complain that YOUR coverage isn't enough. There are several plans to meet the needs of your family. Don't be ignorant.
C. If you don't like it. Get OFF THE ISLAND. I have no time for your whining, self-pity. The military system goes into debt trying to support your ass......the least you could do is support the very system there to make you more comfortable and service the needs of a family that isn't really the military's job to support.
D. If you don't like it, get your own. I have Tricare and use it sparingly. I chose to use other services that I prefer. Yes, I'm out of pocket for those choices but I feel that they are better suited to care for my needs and it is one less military spouse mooching off Tricare. Hate if you will.....whatever.

2. Military housing.
Where to start?
It's a damn benefit your spouse earns through hard work and dedication. And all you can do is complain that it isn't big enough; it isn't nicely decorated; it isn't available because YOU NEED it to be. It's there because the military can provide it, but it isn't there because you are ENTITLED to it. LEARN the difference. Benefit and entitlement are two different things......look it up.
AND, if you are lucky enough to have a home - for the LOVE OF GOD clean that shit!! I cannot tell you how many homes I have been to on base where the house is a biohazard and members of a AD spouse's unit have to go over there and clean for three days to make it livable again.

3. Rank
Please stop referring to yourself by your AD spouse's rank. Dear God - it's embarrassing for you and your spouse; it's a little sad; it is not appropriate and NO ONE cares.
- Stop with the sad little brag bags.
- Stop with the 'sticker camo' on your damn car
- Stop using your spouse's rank to win a fight - because you never will.
- Stop with the copious amount of ' Military Spouse is the hardest job in the.....whatever"

Just stop.
You didn't earn it
You aren't AD
You are sad.

4. Support
It is what you make of it.

If you put your issues on the Internet, don't be surprised when you are told to deal. Facebook, MySpace, Support pages...etc., are networking sites and tools, NOT your personal diary.
If you want real help - check out the Family Readiness Centers, talk with your unit's Chaplin, go to your FAMILY, talk with your friends
Or, and here is a real novel idea.....TALK WITH YOUR SPOUSE, BEFORE you fly off the handle at their D.O. or flight chief or the Key Spouse or any other military structure. Jesus.

Deployments, TDY's and long hours can be tough......but you AREN'T the one who is away from family, away from everything that makes you comfortable, away from friends; away from the things that help relieve stress. BE GRATEFUL NOT BITTER.

The bottom line is - Suck it up, buttercup.
There are civilian jobs that are as hard and as dangerous as your spouses' job and they manage without whining and self pity. Shall I name them???

Firefighter - long hours, little pay, dangerous
Police officer - long hours, dangerous, little pay
FBI, CIA, Secret Service - better pay, LONG HOURS, extended absences.....
Corrections Officers - constant stress, long hours, little pay, constant danger.....
Oil rig workers - LONG periods off shore away from family, dangerous
Commercial divers - Dangerous, extended periods away from family.....
Nurses - Hard jobs, tons of stress, little pay, long hours

The list goes on.....

I can personally vouch for all of those jobs - I have a friend, family member or have done the job myself to know what it takes to get it done. AND NEVER ONCE, do they complain nor do their families advertise their spouses rank or position to the degree that YOU do.

Live is difficult but YOU OSMW make it unbearable at times......

All things considered......

It's funny the little things I read, or see, or experience that get the creative 'juices' flowing......

I never go looking for blog material. I always see something that catches my eye and enviably begin to wonder, ask questions and create alternative lines of thoughts in my head. It's a messy place up there!

So, with ALL things considered - here are but a few.....

1. Military SOS - Military Significant others and Spouses. Significant others? So does that mean the girlfriend/boyfriend? Or have we finally evolved into respectful, reasonable human beings that accept the gay partners of openly gay military members??? I certainly hope so. But, I fear that I am a little too progressive in my thought process and should assume that the significant part refers to the hetro side of the house. Sadly, this doesn't help my current view of the military and the culture I am a part of. To say I am a disillusioned and bitter spouse of a military member is appropriate.

2. My second thought. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRIS (from the Key Spouse and various other military members of my husband's FORMER sq.) *facepalm* As you read this you might not understand the 'reason' they are called *members of my husband's FORMER SQ* I will not go into the reason - but I will say that I am DONE with base.....with this sq......with the people who fake kindness and understanding but do not really care or understand.

GO AWAY. I am not trying to be rude or ungrateful. I am trying to keep myself out of a situation that might cause me to say something I cannot take back and that will ultimately reflect poorly on my husband. I refuse to be that spouse and as such I know what I need to do to remain out of trouble and not labeled as a 'crazy dependapotamus'.

3. Negative vibes - you're harshing my calm dude.

How can anyone spend their lives being so damn negative. I mean, honestly, that has to be the most energy-sapping, soul-crushing, bitter approach to life. We can ALL be negative from time to time - but when every other damn word that comes out of your pie-hole is NEGATIVE.....NO ONE wants to be around you!! This can apply to at least three people in my life right now.....I'm seriously going to start slipping alcohol into their sippy cups every time I have to converse with them.


4. Why do people spend so much time focusing on banning things that have NOTHING at all to do with them? Things that will never affect their life. Things that have no bearing on their daily lives and the lives of their children?

LISTEN UP HOMOPHOBIC CRAZY PEOPLE! 

As far as I'm aware homosexuality is not the cause of environmental pollution, unemployment, poor healthcare initiatives, lack of educational funding, global warming, wars, poverty.....etc.  THESE are the things that can and will affect your life and the future of your children!!

Wake up!! The fact that my some of my closest friends have found happiness, contentment and unconditional love in the arms of someone that is the same sex as them DOES NOT affect my life in anyway - I take that back - it does affect me! I am HAPPIER than a fat girl with cake, that my friends are happy. TRULY happy. And FUCK you if you cannot smile with them.

SO they are gay? AND?????
Are you honestly sitting here and telling me that if they get married the world will divide by 0 and everything ends. That by allowing these couples to live peacefully together and pay taxes and have jobs and pay into healthcare benefits that the hand of YOUR God will smote us ALL? NO. I think not.
If ANYONE should be voted off the island it should be YOU. The only thing that is going to affect your children's future and yours is the hate you spew which has a much longer lasting affect on our future generations than a gay people getting married and showing ALL OF US the true meaning of love and happiness.

OK. There. I said it.

Life is a garden people. DIG IT. Or bury the dumbasses in the back. Either way I'm good with it. :)
Carry On!

OSMW - If you are offended you are the OSMW

 ** A side note and shout out - I am NOT an admin on this page (OSMW) and I do NOT speak for the individuals responsible for this page. I hope that IF this blog post, if viewed by the Mods &Admin of OSMW - I, in no way, speak for them.....I am just sharing with my fellow blog fans my views and support of OSMW page. Thank you. **

 For all my non-military peeps - here's another acronym - OSMW. This is not an official military term but in a way it should be. It is an abbreviated version of: Overly Sensitive Military Wives.

Please take a moment to Google it, read some of what you find & come back....I'll wait....

Now ask yourself if you are offended.
If you are - Why?
If not - You got it.

Yes, I am a military wife and Yes, I am a member of the Facebook page - Overly Sensitive Military Wives. And here's why.....

1. I have been a military spouse for over 10 years. In that time I have become frustrated by the actions and drama created by so many other wives. I have remained silent on the fact (well, most of the time....fans know I'm not ALWAYS quiet) but in recent months I have reached my limit.

Military wives of the Dependa breed - You gotta go. Seriously. Before I stroke out from frustration.

2. Opinions. Everyone has them. Everyone is entitled to them. Doesn't mean that they are all correct but you are entitled to speak your mind. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Debate and banter are my favorite things. Why can't you OSMW understand the difference between friendly banter and debate.....and....No ONE asked your opinion. If you don't like it.....don't read it, comment on it, cry about it.....etc. If you do; well, you are feeding the fire. YOU are creating the drama that didn't exist before you got there. THINK ABOUT IT - if you weren't such a troll in the first place....there would be a NEED for OSMW in the first damn place.

3. You give us ALL a bad name. Yes, we are looking at you. Every time a narcissist, dependopotomus trolls, complains, or bitches - a kitten dies. Well maybe not a kitten, but my blood pressure certainly takes a turn for the worst.

YOU makes us all look bad. Where do you think the stereotypes come from? They are created by others from outside the community interacting with the worst example of THIS community! HELLO!!!????? If you don't like the label, then don't reinforce it, dumbass.

4. Military discounts, military parking, military benefits.....the list goes on....these things are a BENEFIT NOT A GIVEN. Not only that but, YOU didn't earn them....your spouse did. And you sure as hell did earn that rank....so sit down and shut up. You are seriously damaging my calm.

Example from a past experience -

Mil. Wife - *looking at me at a dreaded spouse coffee meeting* And you are?
Me : Kristina and you are?
Mil. Wife : My husband is >insert rank here< , and your husband?
Me: Parker
Mil. Wife: (giggles) Yes, Hon, but what IS he.
Me: Male.
Mil. Wife : *she talks slower* YES, But  WHAT  Does  HE Do.
Me: Um....I don't know. But I'm an EMT; what do you do?
Mil Wife : Oh...Umm....I'm a military wife
Me: *stares at woman* *walks to door**goes home*

Never to return again.
I AM ME! I am not defined by my husband's job, uniform, LIFE. I have a life and identity of my own. I don't need someone else's. I have a job. I have a career. I have a family that has nothing to do with the job my husband does. Why can't you???

So. What are your thoughts now?
Hate me.
Still offended by the FB page and associated websites?
Ok. But that is doing nothing to help you or the stereotype you have inflicted on every other wife around you.

Think about it. If you had a life of your own - would you spend so much time worrying about the thoughts of others?

Bless you OSMW Admin & Mods.
Until there are no more crazy, narcissistic, over-bearing, trolling, bitter, uneducated, soul-sapping OSMW's left. You have my support.

Carry On.

Things that makes me go...HUH? What? Really? Nooooo.

Things That Make Me Go....HUH? WHAT? Really? Nooooooo

1. Learning Teams. 

Dear Person who thought Learning Teams were a good idea, 

You are an asshole.

Love, Me.

2.  Great Dane Farts.

Apparently, my Dane has no sense of smell. Or decorum. Or...well.....never mind....he's a dog. Shadow can clear a room in seconds with one good fart. He crop dusts me when I'm sitting in my favorite chair reading. He climbs down from the couch, stretching off his nap sleepiness and follows that with a cloud of noxious gas. *GAG* Something must be done.

3. Running shorts.

WHY? Nothing says, ' fat girl coming through' than the vision of me running past with my running shorts half way up my butt. *Don't judge me for that image....we are all adults here and get the idea* It's like my butt is eating my shorts, in protest over my new found commitment to running. Guess what shorts.....I will have the last laugh. I have a plan. It's called P.A.N.T.S. Didn't see that coming did ya?

4. Sweating in the South

God how I hate living in the swampy, humid nightmare of a Virginia Summer.  Honestly, I would have gotten back on the first boat heading to England. If the settlement of America depended on me to survive Virginia - we would be in England with a British accent. Just sayin. I'm a West Coast girl.

5. My sense of Humor.

Yep, I have one.
No, it's not always funny.
No, I don't care what you think.
If you don't like it stopping reading my stuff and avert your eyes now.

6. Coffee

I'm pretty sure if I ingested enough coffee I could SEE noise, complete the rest of my BA in one month instead of 12 and run faster than the Flash.

Challenge Accepted.
As soon as I figure out how to brew that much coffee at once.....

7. Are you seriously still reading this?

8. I stopped caring at #3

9. Honestly, this stopped being interesting awhile ago.....

10. Thanks for reading it though. :)

Carry On.
Nothing to see here.

Thoughts and Discourse

A couple of things have been bothering me recently.

So far the only thing that has stopped me from raging on my blog about it, has been my trip to Phoenix - but more on that later....

I pride myself on not being a grammar bitch or someone who constantly corrects simple, harmless writing errors on social networks and alike. I KNOW I have some of the most atrocious grammar and punctuation issues, therefore, I shouldn't throw stones. HOWEVER....college/university class is a different story.

And here's why....

1. I pay a significant amount of tuition each class to learn and educate myself on the current issues and topics of my particular career course. I DO NOT pay money to feel my IQ drop every time I have to read one of your semi-literate discuss points or to read about your inability to complete the simplest task. YOU!!!!!!  OFF THE ISLAND!!!

*wot* is not a word.
*Board* is not an emotion.
*A reference page* is a list of cited sources NOT part of a RESUME. (Oh yeah, someone ACTUALLY described a reference as a list of personal and work place references on a resume)
*Ya'll* isn't an appropriate way to start a class presentation ( yes, it was actually the first word on the first slide of his PP presentation....)
*WIKIPEDIA* IS NOT A RELIABLE SOURCE.

2. I cannot read another response by a student that is ONE LONG sentence that goes for half a page and has no punctuation. My eyes begin to water *tears* and my head begins to hurt *exploding*. I just can't sit by and say nothing. I suppose I can because to actually SAY something I would have to engage you in conversation and I'm afraid I might lose it if I do.

3. S.P.E.L.L. C.H.E.C.K. HOW can you not get this? Either your word processing program will have it or the text editor in our discussion forum will give you that option before you post...seriously? How are you missing this?

Or how about a dictionary or a thesaurus? Buy one or get it FREE online.

I'm seriously going to punch someone in the face. With a chair.

4. Tantrums do not win you friends. They merely serve to show others that you are immature and incapable of sitting at the adult table. Shoo!! Back to the children's table, for you!
Call me out in front of my team again and it will end badly for you. I'm not here to do your work for you and I'm not here to hold your freaking hand. ADAPT and OVERCOME or get mowed over.

Writing at a college level can be challenging and boring but you are at a college level; you are learning new skills and at some point, I figure you have mastered the English language......so quit sounding so damn ignorant and get with it. AND NO, these are not ESL students...because as a general rule they can spell better. *facepalm*

Call me a snob. Call me a bitch. Fine. But if I am held to a certain grammatical and academic level so should everyone else.

OK...back to class....if I stroke out from reading more of this hot mess.....just wake me when it's over...