Time Flies When a Deployment is a'coming....

**Note - OPSEC is the word of the day. Despite the use of 'deployment' in the title. I will be as stealth ninja about the information and specifics of the deployment as I need to be. Sorry family-types! **


It's that time again folks. The weather is getting cooler, leaves are falling, pumpkins are being picked, deployment gear fills the family room.....wait...what?

Yes. It is time.

Strange how you forget the nervous feeling you get when you picture the inevitable day you stand at the window; waving Goodbye to your loved one; praying that you will strong enough not to cry, or break down....because you can't. You have to stand there and be strong. You have to show your loved one that you do this. But when that door closes. When they disappear from view and you find yourself in a quiet moment away from everyone. You do cry. You do break down. And you ask yourself that one question; ' What now?'

Deployments suck.

But here is the reality of the situation.

This is not my first rodeo. I have been there and done this five times before. And I have learned three important things.....

1.  It NEVER gets easier. Never. Of course you learn new coping skills, but in the end the stress; the feelings of loneliness and anger never really go away. If there is a military spouse out there that can look at you and say it gets easier or you look forward to time alone.....well, they are either lying to you or themselves. All you new wives out there - take heed....this sucks and it will always suck. 
2. With all that said. The second thing I have learned is this - YOU LEARN TO DEAL. You find a routine. You find ways of staying busy, becoming involved, cooking for one, going to the movies alone, eating at a restaurant alone, sleeping alone....you become independent like you never were before. And you will always be proud of your life as a military wife & the sacrifice your spouse is making. You become SUPER military wife....no job too big or too difficult. 
3. You learn SO much about yourself and the things you can do.....that you would never have done before. I have never been as proud of myself as when I fixed a water heater in the middle of winter....or the time I spent two days cleaning AND fixing a flooded basement.....or when I changed a tire.....or moved and unpacked our house in a new place...knowing no one!. I did it. Me. The sense of pride and accomplishment helps you get through anything.

However, we are entering unknown territory here, folks.  Our first deploy. as a married couple & his first as a married man. And believe it or not...that can be scary for a military man. They now have a family at home that they worry about. And that is a military wife's most important role.....make it easier on them. You might disagree with me & that's fine.....but in my mind; if they are worrying about the home front, they aren't thinking about the mission - and that is more worrisome. 

The time for talking about a deployment is coming to an end. This is happening and it is happening soon. Nothing can stop it. There is no amount of pleading, crying, or wishing that will make this go away. So what do you do? DEAL. Deal with it. Make the most of it.

I might sound all ' WOORAH ' or like a bad after school special. But there is nothing else you can do but pull on the big girl pants & face this head on. I will pull on my previous experience and get through it; I will make plans; I will support him as much as I can; I will ask for help and cry when I need to; I will remember that I have the easy job...I don't have to leave home & everything I love; I will make cookies and send care packages; I will make weekly morale calls to other spouses who need help; I will email him everyday and tell him I love him; I will stay busy......I will.

Never pity a military spouse. Comfort us. Encourage us. Cry with us. But never look at us with pity or talk about us with pity. We took on this life knowing what it was. We signed the dotted line when we said 'I do'. We knew that this day would come. As will many other days when we shake our heads and say, ' why did I say I DO'; but then again why wouldn't we. We love our spouse and are proud of their sacrifice; this is just a small price to pay.


Bring it on.


** Family types...if you are reading this.....more information and specifics will be passed onto you when we can and when we have a firm date**

Bell's Palsy 1 Me - 0

I'm at the the 3 week stage with Bell's Palsy.

Bell's Palsy 1 ~ Me - 0

Not sure how I feel about this whole thing. It has been 3 weeks & it is difficult to say whether I see any real improvement. But I wouldn't, would I? Or should I?

Yep. Welcome to my World. A world where no one can actually say how long this will last; whether I should see improve or not; how this came about; what to expect. It's a world filled with questions but no one has the answers. My doctor stares blankly at me when I ask if this is normal? If I can do anything to help the recovery? Hello? Are you even listening???

Yes. The she is listening. And has no idea what is happening or why. Helpful!!??!?!?!

She tells me it is too early to expect change. Um, yeah. She tells me we need to wait and see. Really?! She tells me that Bell's Palsy is a strange, misunderstood condition that remains so because in the larger scheme of things...."it doesn't kill people, or leave them permanently disabled; so there isn't the research or time put into understanding it" Well that's comforting.

I get it. I understand that there are more serious conditions out there. I have family and friends that have dealt with life-changing, life -threatening illnesses & cancers. I am forever grateful to the medical community and research foundations that have discovered new treatments that have saved them. But the selfish part of me says.....'Wait a minute! I have a medical condition too! And NO ONE has any real idea why or how or what it is" I can't help but be a little frustrated and quite honestly, a little scared.

What's to say this won't get better. And if it does, will I get it again? Because at this point no one knows how I got it in the first place!!

And around in circles we go.......

Yesterday I went to Parker's Softball game - as many of you know, he is in the military, so the softball game was a squadron to squadron friendly - and it was a strange experience.

Everyone knows me. Well, most people Parker works with know me. And at this point they know about my BP. It was all friendly smiles; well wishes; words of support and most importantly, not asking at all.....treating like they would in any other situation. Awesome. What an awesome military family.
However, I did learn a few things....some good....some not so good.

• Some people (I feel it important to say they were strangers, not part of the sq.) were not so understanding. Watching me talk and mimicking what, or HOW I was talking was NOT OK. I was immediately defensive and felt the need to leave. I didn't of course. Screw them. 
• No pity. I don't want your pity. And thank you to all who wished me well....but showed no pity. It's hard enough to be social sometimes, without the looks of pity. I pity the fool who tries it. 
• I can't participate as I wish I could. I'm not a great softball player.....but I do love to try. It was frustrating to realize that at this moment I can't. High impact exercise just aggravates the muscles in my face & leaves me with a painful wonky smile. Grrrr. 
• I can't drink from a water fountain. Or a sports bottle. Forgot my straws. 

Yesterday I was feeling a little disappointed and mildly frustrated.

Yesterday it was Bell's Palsy One .....Me - Nada.

Today I intend on winning one for the team.

Today it will be BP - One ..... Me - One.

Random Thoughts of a Latina

Ok, so they aren't necessarily random, but I made you look, huh?

In fact the follow blurb of consciousness is a shameful 'steal' from my sister's blog. Don't hate. It was a good idea that I thought I could 'borrow' &......OK, It was and is a great blog idea that I want to steal. There I said it. Sorry girl.

Things I have Learned....

• Any dish such as soup, cereal or related liquidy goodness - is a challenge to eat in my current condition. Slurping, spilling, drooling....it's just not pretty. Learned : Use a small spoon & a straw. 
• Makeup removing wipes are AWESOME!!! Applying a certain level of pressure on my face combined with trying NOT to get my eye wet was a problem...a frustration.....and had to GO. Learned: Makeup removing wipes don't sting & clean your face better than soap.
• Just because you THINK you can...doesn't mean you ACTUALLY CAN. Example - face feels better, so I'm going to drink directly from water bottle.....um, no. Not unless you have a bib & no one is watching you. Learned: Use a damn straw. No one really cares if you do. They prefer it.
• 21 September was the Mabon ( First Harvest in the Wicca Calendar ) - and I was all geared up to shop for pumpkins, apples, corn husks...etc. at local farm co-ops. No so much. Learned : nothing is geared up for Fall Harvest  & associated Fall food shopping until 1 October. Damn Indian Summer. 
• People - friends, family, acquaintances, random people at stores - don't mind if you ask for help. Learned : Quit being so stubborn and ASK. People really do surprise you. 
• Cooking is not just for Betty Crocker & Martha Stewart. And it is fun. Learned : Make your own soup; breads....etc. I seem to have a natural ability to cook. Who knew? 
• There are several varieties of pumpkin and not everyone of them is good for cooking with. Learned : Read about it....then buy. Locally. Again...who knew....not this girl. 
• Life is a garden. Dig it. (Just thought I throw that in) 
• Great Dane puppies will continually amaze you. Learned : They are smarter than you; you need to be trained...not the other way around. 
• Bell's Palsy can begin to define you. Learned : Don't be a statistic. Have fun with it. 

So there you are Blogging Nation. It is today's Jack Handy Motivational Thoughts of the day and things I have learned.

Can you imagine what it's like to be in my head all day! Tiring.....very tiring......

Old Dog...New Tricks....

In light of the recent social media changes - I'm looking at you Facebook - I thought why not throw my two cents into the debate & see what happens. Flame me if you wish; but give me a few minutes to say my piece.

I joined the social networking giant before it was a...well, giant. I was a Facebook devotee when it was a small, homegrown, college network; a place for students to hook up & flame their numerous professors and fellow collegiate buddies. It was picture and a tweet. End of story.

The tides changed and the social media Giant that was MySpace, died. A horrible, lonely death. And out of the ruins Facebook exploded.
The idea was simple. No crazy, seizure inducing page layouts. No mind-numbing, soul-sapping online games that choke up your updates stream. No teeny-bopping hipsters trying to lure you into being a friend so they can spam you within a inch of your life. Nope.
It was a simple white page, with a few pictures and random streams of comments and thoughts. I will admit it was merely the reincarnation of My Space from back in the day; but it seemed more....mature? Easier? Somehow it didn't feel like a dirty secret that you were constantly updating a social network. Or is that just me?

Regardless, Facebook brought together, for better or worse, generations of bored people, families, old high school friends and long last acquaintances together, with the ability to share the absurd, the funny and sometimes the mundane. Easier than a phone call, huh?

Now fast forward to today.

Call me old. Call me out of touch. Call me ubergeek. But I do not like the new changes. And here's why.

I'm barely computer illiterate. Sure I know how to operate a computer better than my Grandmother; of course I spend WAY too much time playing around the Internet; I can use almost any office with the efficiency of a trained monkey....I am still pretty retarded as far as the uses and changes of many a social media site. THAT was the draw of Facebook. I got it. Or I had it.

I can't help but see the same mass destruction to Facebook that sounded the death knell for MySpace. MySpace tried the same thing - adding new features faster than people learned how to use them, or ignore them; creating evermore personalizing features that only add annoying flash media and irritating social gaming abilities; too many icons, blurbs, addicting additions......too much.

I believe the biggest issue I have is this - they didn't ask. And maybe I have chosen the wrong social event 'bandwagon' to throw myself on but it seems to me to incorporate everything that annoys me about mass media and our reliance on it. Everyone tells me to stop complaining; ' if you don't like it...turn off the features.....use another site.....get with the times'. But why should I? Why should you? Just because big brother tells us that this is a good thing and we NEED this change, doesn't mean we actually do.

Ask....what is so hard about asking and then allowing people to make a choice? We spend our time telling our kids to make choices; make the right choices; think for yourself; don't be pushed into things that you don't want to do because people tell you you should......

Change is good; but should we have the choice to chose?

It's not the changes that people have a problem with - after all, you can opt out of some of them - it's the fact that no one asked for them.

"Sometimes the best course of action, is no action at all"

Oooo, I have a notification. I get them on my iphone......Later!

I'm going to get medieval on your ass.....

Fuck this shit.

Such a helpful & comprehensive adjective....noun......word. I believe that it can be overused and therefore lose some of its power. So with any 'good' thing, we should ensure we use it or partake in its pleasure sparingly; as not to overindulge and possibly lose some of its meaning.

Fucking shit.

And why, do you ask, am I using this term - a term that is often classified as vulgar and maligned by so many? Simple, really. It is the only thing I can think of to describe my current emotional state and thereby do it justice.

I am in Day 11 of Bell's Palsy & I'm ready to be done. Seriously. This is enough.

• Minor changes in face. I have an eyebrow! I suppose the threat of the tweezers was enough for my eyebrow to get with the program. I briefly contemplated plucking the affected eyebrow to show some mock illusion of being arched. My eyebrow seemed to sense my poor decision-making abilities and fell into line. 
• Decreased swelling of my affected side. Apparently it got bored on the left and moved to the right. What do they say....' a change is as good as a vacation?"......I certainly don't want the palsy to be bored and unhappy. So now I have a slight swelling on the right side. Awesome. 
• Pain. I haz it. Apparently, my nerves are having a party and I'm the pinata. I figure I shouldn't be concerned unless candy starts coming out of my ear. 

** The pain has become a very real & very tiring new symptom. The word on the street is ( and my street I mean the infinite wisdom of medical-types ), that this is a common recovery situation. OK. That doesn't help me when I am trying to sleep, move, eat, talk or do anything that requires movement or consciousness. UNHELPFUL!

• Wonky Smile is gradually becoming Semi- Wonky. That's a good thing, right? I can honestly say I will miss this little smile. Last call! You don't have to go home...but ya can't stay here. 
• Talking was more difficult yesterday; a little like listening to a female Sly Stallone. Unpleasant but strangely hypnotic. A train wreck you can't look away from. 
• Soap eyeballs mastered. It may take me 30 mins to shower but I am no longer crumpling to the ground with soap in the eye; or running at the shower door (closed shower door); or swearing at myself for washing my eye with soap. It only took me 10 days, five wash cloths, several eye washes & a damaged ego to remember the EYE DOESN'T SHUT, GENIUS.
• Eating and drinking remains the same. Straws, a spoon and napkins. Cue Laughter. 

My final thought for today.

This pain needs to ease up. Last night was unpleasant. I don't CARE that it is just my nerves reconnecting, or re-generating, or re-......whatever they are doing. My face is NOT a pinata. I do not contain candy. And your face. *private joke*

I think I can safely say; I Blame The PALSY.

Fucking. Fuck.

Camera, Action....Bell's! Day Ten

A little video Blog experiment.

To be honest, I did this because it is difficult to judge the impact the palsy has on my speech and facial movements if you can't see yourself talk. Soooooo, as any good blogger with more time on her hands than sense....I made this priceless gem.

I may live to regret it! But at least it gave me a valuable tool, with which I can monitor my progress or lack of.

Welcome to my World and the daily facial funnies I live with.

Bells & Whistles

Day 9 - Bells and Whistles.

After awhile you forget what if feels like; how did your face react or feel like before? Is your face really showing signs of improvement? Or is that just a trick of the light or your face just relaxing enough to show a small sign of life?

This is Day Nine. And I will update with questions. Question asked by people I know & questions that buzz around in my head all day. Welcome to my World......


What are my limitations?
I sometimes feel like a fraud. I do not have a life-threatening illness; I am not handicapped; I am not disabled. But yet, I am unable to do the simplest things.....normally. I feel a little trapped as a result.

Example - Reading. I am a full time student; or I was until this hit me. Reading is a necessary evil of all college work, but even more so for a distance, online learner. EVERYTHING is read. However, due to a wonky eye -( that opens, but does not shut without significant effort on my part ) - my eye waters badly, thus blurring my vision and causing double-vision. The strain on my eye; the constant re-focusing; the tearing.....all causes me to become overly frustrated and resulting in pain.

But I suppose I feel because no one else can truly understand or see the pain and dysfunction within I am a fraud. Whatever.

Changes in my condition?

I am experiencing more pain in my face. It feels as if I have gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. It is a strange sensation. Imagine being hit in the face and you feel swelling and bruising but no discoloration. That's how it feels. The littlest touch to my face causes discomfort. Applying makeup or lotion is an exercise in patience and pain tolerance.
My eye doesn't seem to be damaged. The main concern for Bell's Palsy suffers is the cornea becoming dry & scratched, which in turn, will cause permanent damage to the cornea and sight.
Eating and drinking are easier...I think. Either that or I have become used to using straws, covering my mouth when I eat and using small spoons instead of large forks to shovel food into my face.
I still tire easily.  Although I want to keep going.....my body tells me I am tired and my face becomes irritated & painful.....so I have to rest. SIGH.
Talking becomes tiring after a while. I think my wonky side becomes swollen and the opposite side becomes overworked....resulting in a slurring, drooling mess that is not easily understood.

What is my general mood today?

Despite the absence of my usual humor, I am ok. I can't let this get me down. I won't let this get me down. I'm in it for the long haul; and with that I can't allow myself to become so easily downtrodden or hopeless. There are people in this world that suffer worse fates, illness and condition than my own.

Wonky Smile keeps smiling. Pass the bib. 

You are damaging my calm

.....I get it. You represent a government office. You are merely a clog in the machine. YOU are not responsible for the ridiculous inefficiency that is this department. But you ARE the person I am dealing with & YOU are damaging my calm.....

Just a few thoughts that were running through my head today. And here is why....

I spent the better part of the day trying to get two simple things done. One - a new dependent ID card; Two - get enrolled in the military dependent system. I figured that it would take a few hours. But Oh, MY GOD. I was wrong.

10:15 - Sign in. Take a seat. (You could almost smell the hopelessness in the waiting room) Even better we get to sit among rows of poorly designed but institutionally functional waiting room chairs. Awesome. With coffee in hand, I sit. And wait.

10:45 - The waiting room has grown. People file in quietly; desperately trying not to make eye contact, in case, god forbid, you actually are forced to smile or even say Hi. Can't have that can we. Smiling is contagious. * checking my watch *

11:00 - Still waiting. iPhone and Facebook no longer amuse me.

11:15 - HAMILTON!!!!!!!!!! YES!! Our time has come....Later SUCKERS!!!

11:16 - Sorry we can't help you. Due to our incompetence we didn't tell you the ACTUAL paperwork we require to complete this standard transaction. Come back when you have what WE need.

11:18 - I want to see your supervisor.

11:25 - Heading to Social Security Administration to obtain necessary information, that was kindly explained to us by above mentioned supervisor.

* 10 minute from start to finish with the Social Security Office. Who knew!! *

12:00 - Paperwork in hand.....Signing in. Again. This time there are NO seats and some of the same people are STILL WAITING. I die a little inside. And they look at me with a look of satisfaction and pity.

12:30 - Still waiting. Parker is ready to blow up.

12:45 - Two of the FOUR customer service personnel leave for lunch. Dear. God. Kill me.

13:15 - HAMILTON!!!!!! YES!!! Later SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13:55 - Done. ID. Photos. Enrollment.

The following two hours were mercifully short, in which we spent going from department to department; filling out forms, clicking computer keys; offering up social security numbers; signing names and accepting congratulations for our recent nuptials.

Now, I am a reasonable person. I understand things such as short staffing; over- burdened systems; the need for security and proper paper work - I mean, what would we do without a paper trail that could paper a small classroom.
But what I can't understand is unhelpful, unapologetic customer service workers who would rather sit and giggle about their Saturday night than try and explain the current back-up. Or even offer the simplest apology for the wait & assure people they are working as quickly as they can. Instead, they stare impassively at the inquisitive customers, with slack mouths & uninterested attitudes.

We have an attitude because we have no idea why we are wiating for so long.
We are angry because you can't tell us how long it will be and you honestly don't care that we care.
We become frustrated because the information you gave us was wrong and you waited until the two hour waiting mark to tell us.
And yes, I DO want your name because you may be over-worked and don't care anymore BUT I DO. I have been there. I worked that job. But I wasn't half the BITCH you were.

You have damaged my calm.

Wishful thinking?

After an absurd blog post about my current condition; I seem to be in a state of limbo today. I woke up this morning with a strange sensation of feeling! Yes. I felt my wonky smile actually MOVE!! My eye magically blinked. I think. Maybe. Yep. Certainly. I'm sure it did. As I'm sure it is now. I think. That really is the absurdity that is this palsy business. This morning my face woke up rested and feeling semi-functional. I, of course, half a sleep, was wondering if I was still dreaming or my face was making real progress. But how could it.....it's only been a few days. Here is the crux of the matter - As happy and as grateful as I would be to have a recovery period already starting; I feel apprehensive. In all my reading and research on this strange malady, no where does it say that a recovery can come so quickly. And, of course, being a hypochondriac I can't help but feel a little more scared at the prospect. In my mind, if I am truly on the up swing of this thing - is it really Bell's Palsy? Could it be something else? Almost every resource and doctor I have talked to has warned me that it can take weeks, if not,months to fully recover. I blame the palsy. *my new mantra...it makes me smile.....at least half of me smile* But maybe my neurosis is short-lived; as I write this I feel a familiar dryness to my eye and a weakness to my face. It is amazing what your body will consider 'normal' when it stays constant. Don't get me wrong....I would love to be back to my normal strangeness and daily routine. But knowing I have Bell's Palsy and understanding its treatment and recovery time is much more comforting than experiencing a miraculous recovery and having the feeling of uncertainty that knowing it might not be a palsy.....it could be something else. On the subject of diagnosis....... It is scary to me that much of the medical community is clueless about Bell's Palsy. I mean, with our advanced technology and understanding, we are able to help people walk again, make remarkable prosthetic limbs, cause remission of cancers, operate on the human brain, perform transplants of organs and even whole faces! And yet, we are tortured by colds, allergies and the palsy. My doctor tells me that they *THINK* Bell's palsy is caused by a virus and that is why they treat you with antivirals but they don't actually know that for sure. REALLY!??? No one has been able to culture the virus or even identify it. JEEZUS. We can perform open heart surgery but we can't get a culture? CAN I GET A CULTURE *insert a sermon Hallelujah* In other words they are BLINDLY treating the SUSPECTED virus they I might NOT have. Awesome. I feel better already. And people wonder why I don't like to go to the doctors and why people seek alternative therapies. I'm NOT a crazy anti-medical establishment person. I understand that there is so much about the human body that remains a mystery. And I will always follow the appropriate course of medical action. But you have to wonder sometimes. If my doctor can't tell me what is the cause or what I should expect; how am I supposed to have confidence in their diagnosis? I blame the palsy.

Bell's Palsy - I'm gonna be O.K.

I want you to go to the mirror and look at your face.....then smile. I'll wait.

What did you see? A smile?

It is amazing to me how much I took for granted the simple act of smiling. The ability to eat and drink with my whole mouth. To taste a new recipe I just made or to talk on the phone with my family. I will never take these things for granted again.

A week ago I started to feel a intermittent 'smoothness' or numbness to part of my tongue. I did think much about it. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. The following day I sitting on the porch, talking with my mom and I realized that it was becoming increasingly difficult to drink my coffee and control my lips as I talked. Alarming. As the day progress so did the strange change in my facial abilities.

By the following morning the right side of my face had become completely useless and I had no control over it. Awesome. I'm dying. It has to be a stroke. Panic ensues. Parker rushes me to an emergency clinic.

After a brief check over by the doctor, he leans back on the wall and looks at me says, " Do you want to know what you have?" I stare at him blankly -(partly because I can't move half my face & partly because I thought if I don't I will leap across the room and beat him for asking such a STUPID FUCKING question) OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW YOU ASS. He looks at me and tells me I have Bell's Palsy.

Bell's Palsy - discovered by Sir Scot Bells - It is an inflammation of one of the major cranial nerves that controls muscle movement in your face. The increased inflammation causes partial facial paralysis. Causes are infections, head trauma, autoimmune diseases, Lyme's Disease, Herpes virus. Recovery can be anywhere from days to weeks, to years.

Cue the tears.

I have had no infections, no trauma, no medical lead up to this. My doctor has referred me to a neurologist. I'm taking enough steroids to make Major League Baseball players look like pussies. And an antiviral medication five times a day.

Cue laughter.

I have been trying to take it easy and re-learn how to do the most simple daily activities. Here's what I have learned.

* Straws have always been my favorite thing to use - now they are essential. I am the girl that steals extra ones from the fast food place so I always have extras in my purse. Don't judge - they are pre-wrapped and Walmart hasn't figured out how to market those bad boys yet.

* Soap is the enemy. My right eye doesn't shut all the way. Imagine washing with SOAP and not being able to close your eye. Wash cloths are AWESOME!!! Burning in the eye is not.

* Eating is a challenge. And not fun to watch. At least I might lose some weight!!! * insert wonky smile here*

* Talking is an effort. But as any good girl will tell you......you make do. Phone calls are an essential part of my day. I will NOT give in. Just bear with me.

* I already have my Halloween costume picked out. Two face from Batman. You gotta have fun with it, right?

* My family and friends are amazing. It's gonna be O.K.

* Parker has been amazing. He has held my hand and told me it's gonna be O.K. - He smiles at me and giggles when I try and smile back - which makes me giggle more. He reminds me that no matter how frustrated I get.....this too shall pass. I love you.

* I'm NOT going to let this get to me. All the horror stories. All the possibilities of problems and side effects are NOT going to slow me down or worry me into mental breakdown. I'm gonna be OK. I'm a Martinez. We GOT this!!

I'm going to keep smiling my wonky smile. I'm going to keep upbeat and make fun of my new face. Humor is the best medicine.

And when that cashier at Target or the food store look at me, and ask me in an overly friendly *oh you poor mentally retarded girl* voice, " Do you need help to your car", or my favorite - when they talk extra loud and slow so I can understand - I will smile my wonky smile and say " I'm sick NOT stupid". Or what the hell....I'm simply play it up and accept the help. Why not, right??? Hahahaha.

I'm still me. And I'm still awesome. It's going to take more than a wonky face to bring this bitch down. WHA-CHA!!!!