I'm going to get medieval on your ass.....

Fuck this shit.

Such a helpful & comprehensive adjective....noun......word. I believe that it can be overused and therefore lose some of its power. So with any 'good' thing, we should ensure we use it or partake in its pleasure sparingly; as not to overindulge and possibly lose some of its meaning.

Fucking shit.

And why, do you ask, am I using this term - a term that is often classified as vulgar and maligned by so many? Simple, really. It is the only thing I can think of to describe my current emotional state and thereby do it justice.

I am in Day 11 of Bell's Palsy & I'm ready to be done. Seriously. This is enough.

• Minor changes in face. I have an eyebrow! I suppose the threat of the tweezers was enough for my eyebrow to get with the program. I briefly contemplated plucking the affected eyebrow to show some mock illusion of being arched. My eyebrow seemed to sense my poor decision-making abilities and fell into line. 
• Decreased swelling of my affected side. Apparently it got bored on the left and moved to the right. What do they say....' a change is as good as a vacation?"......I certainly don't want the palsy to be bored and unhappy. So now I have a slight swelling on the right side. Awesome. 
• Pain. I haz it. Apparently, my nerves are having a party and I'm the pinata. I figure I shouldn't be concerned unless candy starts coming out of my ear. 

** The pain has become a very real & very tiring new symptom. The word on the street is ( and my street I mean the infinite wisdom of medical-types ), that this is a common recovery situation. OK. That doesn't help me when I am trying to sleep, move, eat, talk or do anything that requires movement or consciousness. UNHELPFUL!

• Wonky Smile is gradually becoming Semi- Wonky. That's a good thing, right? I can honestly say I will miss this little smile. Last call! You don't have to go home...but ya can't stay here. 
• Talking was more difficult yesterday; a little like listening to a female Sly Stallone. Unpleasant but strangely hypnotic. A train wreck you can't look away from. 
• Soap eyeballs mastered. It may take me 30 mins to shower but I am no longer crumpling to the ground with soap in the eye; or running at the shower door (closed shower door); or swearing at myself for washing my eye with soap. It only took me 10 days, five wash cloths, several eye washes & a damaged ego to remember the EYE DOESN'T SHUT, GENIUS.
• Eating and drinking remains the same. Straws, a spoon and napkins. Cue Laughter. 

My final thought for today.

This pain needs to ease up. Last night was unpleasant. I don't CARE that it is just my nerves reconnecting, or re-generating, or re-......whatever they are doing. My face is NOT a pinata. I do not contain candy. And your face. *private joke*

I think I can safely say; I Blame The PALSY.

Fucking. Fuck.