Do we have a problem?

*Bitchy? Sorry I wasn't taught how to say fuck you politely.*

Just had to write a short entry on sheepeople. Baa.

Its amazing how low my tolerance is for stupid people. But I suppose it isn't just that they are stupid as much as they are intolerant. There are far too many people out there that see the world in the narrowest of terms; unable to see that there is more than one way through life. The road ahead doesn't have to be in a boring, treeless straight line. It can be curvy, and twisted and full of crazy stops along the way.

Unfortunately I see these retards as speed bumps I need to hit at Mach 5. Hit em' hard and hit em' fast.

If my personal life is the subject of your conversation ... you really should get out more. The only time that it is up for conversation is if I bring it up, and I'm present. More importantly, if my lifestyle is of any concern to you, you better be a friend or family member. If you don't fit into one of those categories - Run. Run far and ran quickly because I will track you down and beat you with my flip-flop. And honestly there is nothing worse than making a fat girl run. We don't like it and we aren't happy when we reach our destination. You've been warned.

These people need to stop breeding.

I should probably be more tolerant but it's very hard to do so when you see some of the retarded shit people do!

~ When you see a sign that says " Door broken - Please use other door" what should you do? You should walk the extra 10 feet to the door that is OPEN and not CHAINED closed!!!! What you *shouldn't* do is wail on broken door to try and get it open. What part of DOOR BROKEN is a problem for you? To make this even more frustrating and mind-boggling...these are freaking COLLEGE STUDENTS and mostly ACTIVE DUTY military. I'm scared if that is what is protecting me and mine!!!!!

~ ~ Logging on to a computer is not rocket science. Really, it's not. But if you find it difficult then ask. I'm sitting right the fuck there. AND the directions for logging on to our computers is written out on the white board. The very same white board you are facing. It's literally written in RED pen. How can *you* look right at the board, type away in the log on screen and *still* not get it to log on. What's worse you look at the board try and again, and then leave when you can't get it. REALLY??? O.M.G. *shakes head*

~ That little red light at the Intersection means STOP. It's not a suggestion or a possibility. When it lights up, you stop. Simple. Easy. Straight-forward. My light is green, so I know yours was red. You are very fucking lucky you didn't actually hit me. I would have shoved my flip-flop so far up an orifice you would have shit rubber for a month. Just sayin.

I'm surrounded, well, at least that's what it feels like sometimes.

I have a problem with stupid people and people who justify their belief system by tearing down other people's lives and lifestyles. My life is not proof that you are right: it merely illustrates your own ignorance and complete lack of understanding.

Sheep people....*sigh* You are here and you are many. I'm scared. HAHAHAHHAAA. *sigh*

Back to our regular scheduled programming.....

* Randomness for the Day *

~ "the rare happy man
appreciates simple things
retards have it made"

Indecent Haiku - I really shouldn't laugh but this site kills. It's so wrong on so many levels, but so am I....it all works then. Check it out.

~ Blackberry can kiss my ass. This goddamn cell phone is becoming the bane of my daily life. And no, I won't buy another cell. I paid enough for this freaking phone that I shouldn't have to buy another one less that two years later. Besides I like the case I have for it. It's like buying a purse and realizing all your random shit isn't going to fit in it, but you continue to use it anyway because its cute. Don't judge me.

~ My little sister is preggers. I'm happy for her. She has wanted this for so long, but hasn't told anyone but me. I'm not allowed to really say anything. *wink* So I haven't..."technically". To be honest, it s a relief. All my siblings and random cousins have children, several children, in fact. It takes a huge amount of pressure off of us to procreate.
Besides I relish the opportunity to be the crazy auntie/god mommy/etc. I can enjoy the madness of children and be there when they need me, but not have the responsibility of being a responsible role model. Ha. Love it.

~ My family thinks I'm crazy....as do many of my friends. Just wanted to take this opportunity to point out one thing to my readers, and those of you who lurk in the background - I know you are there. LOL -

* I'm perfectly happy with the choices I have made throughout my life.....my recent choices are no exception. I don't expect you to understand, or even be supportive, because this isn't about you. Its about me and those I actually trust and want to be with. If you don't like it, don't ask. *

~ U2!!!! That's right my bitches!!! I'm going to Berlin to see ma boys! LIVE! Oh, yes, I plan to get all kinds of fucked up and have a blast. Its been one hell of a year, and I need to unwind. What better way to do so, than with great friends, alcohol, & U2. Hella!

Just a few of the random thoughts that I have had this morning.

Take it as you will.

Smile. People will wonder what you are smiling at. :)

After the storm.....

I suppose my previous emotional outburst was unavoidable. I have been holding that in for far too long, and as painful as it was; it was necessary. I was raised to believe that emotion and all that comes with it is not only perfectly natural but absolute necessary to living a full life. There was no taboo or awkwardness involved; after all it was a family dominated by women. We ruled the family on the whims of monthly cycles, and chocolate. Never a dull moment.

Yet, there's me.

I'm a pretty open person, unless it involves having to actually talk about something that is 'emotional' in nature. I don't do emotional. Never have. Maybe that's why I had such a close bond with my Grandfather. He was a totally self-contained man. Strong, independent, and like me, rarely showed open signs of emotion. He was by no means a cold man. The very opposite. I can remember breakfasts on Sundays when he and I would barely eat because of the constant stream of laughter. He was always ready with a hug and a smile, even on the darkest and saddest of days. There was never a lack of encouragement, advice and love.

But....he and I never cried together. Not once. Even when Nana passed.

I would cry and then I would go to Papa, and talk to him or more likely he and I would work in the yard, or watch a game on TV. And that is how I liked it. I didn't have to explain how I felt, or talk about me feelings, because he just knew. No one understood Papa and I. And I loved that. It was our bond. It was something I didn't have to share with all the other kids.

I guess its just how I am, and posts like that don't happen often but when they do....pay me no mind.

The storm has passed.

Pity party.

* To my regular readers - this blog is personal...maybe too personal. But it is that time of year, I guess. The birthdays and anniversaries of those no longer here. And I guess it got to me. I just needed to release; isn't that what a blog is for??. Pay me no mind....*

Where are you when I need to most?

I need your guidance. I need to hear your calming voice. I need to hear the voice of reason.

I don't hear it anymore and I miss it. I miss it so very much.

I have found myself looking through old pictures and scrapbooks looking for you, but I'm not sure I see you anymore. And that scares me.

I know that I'm supposed to move on. But the sad part is I never let go. I tell myself I have, but I know I haven't. I'm angry that everyone else has.

I remember when all I had to do was cry a little bit and call one of you and it everything would disappear. All my anger, all my sadness was gone. You both did that. And now....now, I don't know.

I'm angry that you are gone. I'm anger because I need you and you aren't here. But most of all I'm angry because you would expect more from me.

It has been a bad day, I guess. Its been a bad few months. I just wish that I could talk to you both one more time. Tell me what I am supposed to do? Tell me you are proud of me. Tell me no matter what I do, or what path I take it will be okay?

I love you.

Know thy enemy

I have no filter. Why is that? Why am I completely unable to keep my thoughts and stupid comments to myself? - Although I'm pretty sure that if I had, I would have exploded by now - Maybe that's it....its a natural pressure release and by opening my trap I actually am saving myself, but imparting on an awkward & uncomfortable thought to those closest to me. Yeah, that's it.

Fuck.

Or maybe I have a deep-seeded need to make other people feel as uncomfortable as I feel all the time. I'm an incredibly selfish and needy person when you really think about it - & if I have to be miserable, then someone, or everyone, needs to join me. Misery enjoys company....blah, blah, blah.....

Goddammit.

Of course there is a small possibility that I need someone else to know what is going on up here...my head is a pretty messy place....Welcome to the absurd madness that is me. Little ole me. Yeah, good luck with that......

Crap.

I am absolutely incapable of make rational decisions, making choices that are not self-centered or absolutely focused on what I need or want. Fuck, I'm a man. No, I'm worse and far more dangerous, I'm a independent woman that has played a little game for so long, she isn't sure how to live without playing it.

I'm too old for this shit, and I'm getting to tired to play.

* Absurd Randomness *

"...With irregularity of wit I am often approached with caution, or looked upon with pity. Those who are on familiar terms with my drollness find it endearing, though they appreciate, as do I, that I am more. Uncompromising in my beliefs, unwilling to accept failure, as if failure is something that one could never fully recover; taken as a whole my disposition is one of many faults. But it is our faults that mark individuality, which is the very thing that endears us to those within our lives. Of course my diminutive stature, waiflike trim combined with childish habits complete the portrait of my character; one that grows on those whom I trust the most and who I hold dearest to my heart..."

Just me - Don't worry it will only happen to me....you are good!

I was talking with a old friend the other night. The type of old friend that just lays it out in front of you and says, "LOOK. Hahahahahaha. That's your life. Hahahahaha. Love you man." I sit there listening to the loving, if not slightly mocking, voice on the other end of the phone, and realizing slowly and a little resentfully, that YEAH, this is my life. Oh, what joy it is to be me.

I'm not sad about it. I'm a little bitter, maybe, but I have come to realize that this is me. This is my life. I need to start enjoying the oddballs it throws my way. I should embrace the absurdity that is my daily life. I have to learn to recognize the madness that is my circle of friends and be proud!!!! (*which I am...I just need a follow sentence...you understand*).I should feel blessed that I have so much material for my several blog a week habit!

Most importantly I should feel blessed that people want to be part of my life, and that I have a life that allows me to meet so many great people, and get involved in so many crazy situations.

" * EMBRACE THE MADNESS! CELEBRATE THE CRAZINESS! TASTE THE RAINBOW!...wait, what?...*"

I suppose this blog has been prompted by my uncanny ability to get myself into trouble. Its not true, you know. It's not true that once you reach a certain age, you mature and put aside childish things. You just swap it out for adult toys, and highly immature choices. ::: If you are smiling at this point, or even nodding to yourself I have two things to say to you - 1. You totally get it! Welcome! 2. No one can see you nodding. Stop. Really, its like nodding when you are on the phone..they can't see you:::

I have made some really retarded choice in the past week or so, and I have decided that rather hide away from it, and wallow in self-pity....to walk stright at and embrace it.

This could end very badly.

Keep smiling. And remember if you break out into giggles or a smile for no reason....its probably because I did something stupid somewhere.

I.D.K. - You're a dumbass

Why is it you can go through life on the backs of others and face little or no consequences? It doesn't seem as if the system is very balanced, or if it is, it is stacked in favor of certain people or certain situations. Does that sound bitter? I'm not sure if that is really what I was going for.

I'm not so much bitter, as I am angry. It is go through each week and work your ass off for a grade only to see the work handed in by others and wonder why *you* bother! They seem completely content to use the hard work of other s as their own - really? Who the fuck does that and WHY the fuck does the instructor let it continue! Fucking douche.

Ok. So maybe I'm a little bitter.

My frustrations at this point --

I. Watching someone copy *almost* word for word YOUR response and then hand it in as their own work. Oh yes. It has happened - and although I might in some other parallel universe be slightly flattered - in this universe I was ABSOLUTELY pissed. This little twat waffle needs a reality check and she was in luck. Check please? I was only to happy to rip her a new one and serve the old one up to our instructor. But I shouldn't have too. I shouldn't have to deal with resident retards like this.

II. Cut and paste does not an answer make. If you are asked a question you do not run over to the nearest computer, and cut and paste an article, and then hand it over to the person who asked said question - do you??? Then why in the HELL would you do that in a college class???? WHY!!!!!
I can't make this shit up folks. In five weeks there have several "fellow Students" who have answered VERY *basic* questions by cut and pasting the answer straight from an Internet source. PICTURES AND ALL. Not a single fucking word is theirs. Not a single idea is original or had any thought put into it.

III. Please, oh please - for the love of God and everything right in this world - learn to FUCKING SPELL!!!! And if you complain about getting marked down on your punctuation or spelling one more time....I swear I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to insert up your mouthpiece.

Examples - ( oh yeah baby these are real, and from a 300 level class)

- Aloud - Can you guess what word she was aiming for? = Allowed.

- Matrilineal - Guess the word! = Maternally.

- Punctuation - The sentences was 6 lines LONG before there was a period.

- Highlighting every subject in your sentence with a different fluorescent color doesn't help! If fact it only serves to aggravate a seizure.

- Adding pictures or illustrating your point with pictures as your ONLY explanation is not an answer!!! Words. Use you words.

I can't take it anymore.

It makes me feel as if my degree isn't worth much if people like this get one too.

Gah.

Who? Me?

How well do you know me? - Strange to ask I know......but someone pointed out to me recently that for as long as they have known me - they know very little about me. Maybe that's how I like it, I replied.

This is me. For what its worth. And maybe this will help the person who still doesn't know me....

**Ok, and I shamelessly "borrowed" these question from another blog....so bear with me on some of the Q&A's.***

100 Things About Me
1. Full Name: Kristina Marie White
2. Nicknames: Kris, Krissy, Rizzie, Bitch....I'll answer to a lot.
3. Birthday: May 15, 1978.
4. Place of Birth: California.
5. Zodiac Sign: A bull - not much of a shocker there I suppose.
6. Male or Female: Really? Female. Duh, no man is this bitchy....well....
7. Grade: Huh? What do you think? See age.
8. School: University of Maryland.
9. Occupation: Hall monitor. :)
10. Residence: An Apartment in Europe.....if I told you where, I'd have to kill you.
11. Screen Name: I have many. OldSgtCookie is but one.
12. Hair Color: Brown right now.
13. Hair Length: Short. Like really, really short. Pixie-like.
14. Eye color: Green.
15. Weight: Shame on you! Never ask a woman her weight or age. A little extra baggage.
16. Height: Fun-sized!
17. Braces?: Seriously? No.
18. Glasses?: Yes & they are fabulous, darling!
19. Piercings: Yesssssss.
20. Tattoos: Not yet, homes.
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty.

Your 'Firsts'___
22. First best friend: Fellow Kindergarten crazy, Sam.
23. First Award: Bowling ...when I was 10...ranked seventh in the State. Sad, I know.
24. First Sport You Joined: See above!
25. First pet: Kubi.
26. First Real Vacation: South of France - The Funny Farm. Ah, Memories.
27. First Concert: U2 ~~ Hella!
28. First Love: We do not mention his name anymore.

___ Favorites___
29. Movie: I have many favs - Too much pressure to mention only one.....
30. TV Show: Um, NCIS, CSI, Ice road truckers, Criminal Minds, DEXTER!!! LOVE DEXTER!
31. Color: Red.
32. Rapper: Warren G.
33. Band: U2, Ozomatli, Kings of Leon, RHCP, again...very long list......
34. Song Right Now: Sex on Fire.
35. Friend: A handful of great folks.
36. Candy: Easter candy at the mo....but I'm not a big candy girl, really.
37. Sport to Play: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA. no. Watch, yes. Hockey, Soccer & Football.
38. Restaurant: Ruth Chris's Steak House, and In & out.
39. Favorite brand to wear: Depends on the item I'm buying? VC's, S. Olivier, Old Navy...
40. Store: old Navy and I'm not ashamed to say it!
41. School Subject: Biology.
42. Animal: Cat. Meow.
43. Book: Gah, who comes up with these loaded Q's??? Too many...too little time.....
44. Magazine: Scientific American, Wired, and Entertainment Weekly.
45. Shoes: Flip FLOP'S!!! Doc Martens!!!! Anything that fits!!!!

___Currently___
46. Feeling: ... like I haven't had enough coffee today & glad no one is calling me...yet.
47. In love? Absolutely.
48. Have a crush: Yes.
49. Eating: nothing at the moment...but jonsing for Oatmeal.
50. Drinking: Coffee - giver of life.
51. Typing: Um, yeah.
52. Online?: obviously.
53. Listening To: Aaron coughing over the sound of Last FM.
54. Thinking About: Everything, and Nothing. Seriously there's a lot going on up there!
55. Wanting To: go snuggle on the couch and not do ANYTHING all day...!
56. Watching: This computer screen as I type this useless info....Duh?
57. Wearing: VC's pj bottoms, and a hoodie.

___Your Future___
58. Want Kids?: HAhahahahahhahahahahha. no.
59. Want to be married?: That boat has sailed. Very much married, thank you very much.
60. Careers in Mind: I want to be a ballerina when I grow up... or a scientist, I'm still working on it.
61. Where do you want to live: In one place for longer than four years, that would be fabulous...but I'd probably get bored.
62. Car: Subaru Legacy - 2.5 GT Limited. Oh yes, she's my baby!


__Which is better with the Opposite Sex___
63. Hair color: Salt & Pepper - or all white.
64. Hair length: Short - back and sides - skin short baby!
65. Eye color: Green, or blue.
66. Measurements: Tall. Dark. Handsome. "Remind you of anyone?"
67. Cute or Sexy: Both. I want the whole package.
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both....I want it all, darling.
70. Short or Tall: Taller than me.....that's not a stretch. Hahahaaa...a stretch...*sigh*
71. Easygoing or serious: Easy-going.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Never really thought about it.
73. Fatty or Skinny: I like cushioning.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Well, sensitive because I'm loud enough for the both of us.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Depends....both have there advantages. :)
76. Sweet or Caring: Aren't they usually the same thing?
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hesitant. I need something to counter me.

___Have you ever______
78. Kissed a Stranger: Many.
79. Had Alcohol: Um, yeah. Yummy happy juice.
80. Smoked: As often as possible.
81. Ran Away From Home: Too lazy.
82. Broken a bone: My middle finger. *smirk*
83. Got an X-ray: Several.
84. Been with someone: Um, yeah. Refer to Question 78.
85. Broken someone’s Heart: I hope so.
86. Broke Up With Someone: Yeah.
87. Cried When Someone Died: Many times, over many amazing people. I miss you all every single day.
88. Cried At School: Yes.

___Do You Believe In___
89. God: Refer to Question 87. He sucks.
90. Miracles: I'm not sure.
91. Love At First sight: It was certainly something at first sight.
92. Ghosts: Certainly.
93. Aliens: Why not. If you have spent any time with children, you would say Yes, too!
94. Soul Mates: Yes. No other way to explain us.
95. Heaven: I hope so, for the sake of all I have lost.
96. Hell: I'm driving the bus, so yeah.
97. Angels: Yeah, I need all the help I can get - I hope they are watching over me.
98. Kissing on The First Date: Just kissing?
99. Horoscopes: What about em? Nah, you make your own destiny.

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have?: No. I can have it all.